SUNSET AND WING.

This was the time when we were watching the sunset together with Gustav.
The dap-ay was lonely without the fire and the merry people who gathered
around it the night before. Yet, it still felt very sentimental and calming
being surrounded by the statuesque pine trees, a cup of warm coffee
in my hand.

I look forward to another time like this.To quote Dave,” Another time and
another place with the constellations…in Sagada.”

 (Thank you, Isis, for photographing us.)

12 DEGREES.

The foreground was Session Road beside La Azotea around 9pm. Sitting where I was would have allowed one to view the movements happening on the busy street – people passing by, each wearing a thick jacket or coat or leather, fighting back the coldest air at 12 degrees.

You’ll hear the amplified guitar playing of a blind man just to the left side of the entrance. Perhaps, a tug from the heart was the most appropriate way to describe it, had you not experienced it everyday. Not to mention the occasional pauses from our conversation because outside, the guitar man was playing “Love” by The Beatles.

If only to hum and sing some lines in a whisper – we paused within the moment of that famous Beatles song.

TIME GOING BY.

October, 2011
Baguio City

“The two of you are the best of me. Even if there is no life after death,living with you has been worth everything to me. The time I’ve spent with you – those collected bits of moments – are the high point of my life.”  ~ Jorge Ramos from The Gift of Time (Letters From a Father)

At this point, I appeared restless from swinging back and forth, asking myself  if my life at work and outside home had gotten in the way of my time I should have concentrated on my children.  For however long, I justified it by saying I had to earn to be able to sustain a comfortable life for us. Somehow, it reached past the momentum. I’m now caught always running against time praying to slow it down a little – with every second that counts to the past – so I could be with them more and more. Oh, how they’ve grown, I have to synchronize my clock to keep up with the pace.

I remember when I came across this sight of a mother and child walking hand in hand on Session Road, I called it a Kodak moment, so I captured it through my lens. I was transported to memory lane – seeing myself with Wam and Sasan, taking them by the hand and we’d walk together going to church and Wam’s pre-school located beside it every morning. I no longer have that privilege. It only meant I have gotten old and I am now welcoming that change positively. Soon, they will have a life of their own, I could go on and on with my sentimentality…

BIZARRE CONNECTION

THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS by Arundhati Roy had not landed in my bookshelf  for so long. I’ve leafed through its pages many times in the past in bookstores but never lifted a finger to purchase it. Until last night, we came across each other at a pre-owned books sale inside U.P. ( University of the Philippines) campus.

It was sealed so it took me some time to find the personal notes written by the previous owner inside. Well, I was,  for a moment,  frightened ~ succumbed by the darkness in the words he/she used… The dim streetlights in the area made it even strange, as we all read what was hand-written on the preface ( looked like beautiful calligraphy to me).  He wrote.” It’s easier to see the ceiling when you’re lying in a coffin.”

Jo, Marko, Vee and Luis said it could be lines from a gothic song or poetry, I could be wrong.  I almost believed it was a lyrical curse handed down to me. On the inside back cover,  I had read.” You took up television like it’s a drug, stay away, pull out the plug. You got better things to do, you got people who love you and _________. ”  

He left no trace of his identity in the book,  it will forever be a mystery. I am now its new keeper.

(Please click the photo to enlarge it.)

FROM A STRANGER.

I first heard her, I did not see her. Standing three feet away, I tried looking out to see where that soft melody was resonating. There was no way you would’ve noticed unless you came closer. So, I sat with her on the pavement, casually gazing from my periphery before I had the moment to take the photograph up close.  She was playing the song from Ice Castles, and I felt my own sincerity to bring out her soul through this image.

THEN, THERE’S HOMER AND THE FAMILY GUY.

One day, Sasan came home wide-eyed, telling me that she had a surprise for Wam. She took out Homer and the Family Guy figures from the Toy Kingdom bag so certain that her sister would’ve gone gaga over the sensor recording blurted out by both.

So, it works that when something moves or shakes around/ beside them, they talk. Not just talk but will surprise you like they’re just within earshot!

WALKING THIS WAY.

This is meaningful to me as it was my right of passage to street photography last year, if I may refer to it as such. I used to be afraid to walk in the streets of Manila, paranoid at the thought that all place else was unsafe to be at. Wide Open opened it to me ( hence, the group name). I’ll always look at these photographs with fondness, despite being deficient of the elements of light, composition and depth – they transport me back to day one and move me forward to the great experience, learning, “rayuma” after a whole day of photo walk and the friendships built along the way. Luis, I’m grateful, most of all.

OUR LONGEST LAUGH HAPPENED ON THIS HIGHWAY.

What seemed to be an endless road became the sunny place of miles and miles of good laugh and Caramel Macchiatos with extra espresso shots.  It’s one of the happiest roads I’ve traveled on, thus far. How can I thank you?

THAT FUNNY HOMER’S DIET STORY.

Friday evening, I was with my favorite circle at Taste of L.A. on Roces Ave.  Carol was so right to say it was as cozy as home, a nice place to be with good, old friends. I realized I never laughed that much for a long time; it may have been the reason why I was trying very hard to make it, no matter how late. I would’ve missed that three- hour-long hearty laugh.

And why until today, for strange reasons, that scene about Homer Simpson in one of The Simp’s old episodes (which Mak was candidly telling us about in reference to all our recent  fitness plans)  kept on replaying like a movie in my mind! Hahaha!  ”DIE,” Homer read from an outdoor video wall one evening while he was walking; and then, he yelped his famous panicky yelp thinking it was apocalypse ( the letter “T” was covered by the huge tree). Come on.

This is for you, my dearest. I kind of didn’t want to go home in exchange for a longer bonding time with all of you. Which goes to say that twenty years of constantly being apart wasn’t too long a time to not remain as close. You are like family to me, thank you.

BLISS

They say that the most important blessing is to wake up knowing you are alive and breathing. And to breathe more, apart from your family ever being the utmost purpose, is upon seeing you are in a place close enough to be your own heaven on earth. You don’t have to travel too far to meet the people who will paint your life with brighter shades of red or green or sunburst orange; be inspired by the works that they do; or be in a place your soul can identify itself with. Sometimes, they are within an earshot but you just don’t want to see. It takes a willing soul and an open heart to welcome these blessings. And they happen everyday at different moments and unexpected places. The beauty of life, as how Lenore puts it, is being enthralled by the realization that the simplest things are the ones that affect our lives deeply.

You all made it easier for me to believe this truth. Thank you.

Baguio –  Feb. 25,2011

Photos taken at Mr. and Mrs. Joe Cariño’s compound in Camp 7. Thank you, Tita Millie and Tito Sonny ~ your place is close to heaven on earth, to me.

THE LOTUS AND OM.

18 September, 2010 – Saturday

*Thank you, Wam… This is unforgettable. It signifies the many changes and storms I survived. It’s nothing compared to all the tests of time, if about the pain. I guess today is the best time to manifest them visually on my body because there is openness, no more to hide. Let the lotus flower speak about my journeys from yesterday through my graceful end.

 

‎”The spirit spelled by the Lotus swoons,
Its beauty summons the artist mood;
And thus, perchance, in a thousand moons
Its spell shall work in our waiting blood.

All the heights of the high shores gleam
Red and gold at the sunset hour
There comes the spell of a magic dream,
And the Harbour seems a lotus-flower.”

- The Lotus Flower by Roderic Quinn

I DO NOT WANT TO CALL IT COSMIC.

Cha Malazarte for Adobo Forum – October, 2010.

 I stumbled upon many circumstances that evoked a lot of introspection in my life lately. Oh, at least, during the last two weeks; or to be more precise, the 2^nd to the 3^rd week of September. First was my decision to finally enroll in a basic fitness program which converted me to become more conscious about my health and fitness. Second was when I gave up rice. And this, even people at home can testify. It was hard, but only to a certain extent. Today is my 12th day without it and I could only imagine for however long! I need to move forward (I thought my turning point was when one day at the gym, I saw my weight reach the alarming state), and influence from my support group would have created that much impact. So, I surrounded myself with people who would remind me that I am on a mission.

And one day, there came a long lost friend who had quite a handful to share. Quitting smoking, forgetting coffee and the eighth tattoo – these were his good news. And it came to me, that I realized there’s always a purpose for every reunion – be it with lost friends, loved ones or foes. And this time, this one made more sense to me that it came upon the moment when we were both – in totally separate locations – drinking Shiraz, not eating rice, exploring Tagaytay and remembering the Tibetan chant In the same light and spirit. I became deeply grateful for his return that we would have been allies in this journey. But, perhaps, I would have spoken the same predicament with or without this reunion. I must have presumed it was a cosmic interlude; but something told me it was just an interjection, a run-on, so I could meaningfully continue what I had started.

This week, I found myself in a workshop for highly effective people. The habits taught and explained became merely a backbone because I learned most from and saw through all the leaders who were with me in conversations that mattered a lot to me. Our conversations, sharing, insights, arguments and introspections totally shifted my paradigm to a more effective disposition. It was the kind of openness you would not have imagined to be visible in that room for three days, knowing that they hold key positions; but yes, it became. Because of it, my yearning for family relationship became more enlightening than lonely and I saw myself most anxious and excited to see my children after a long day. I loved that group and I admired our speaker. I love you, Pat.

When I began writing this essay, I was recovering from a painful hang over after an evening of frozen cocktail mix with a friend. And while the analgesic didn’t prove to be effective, I lied down in bed and these thoughts came by. For a long moment, I felt very inspired by certain things I considered unnoticed blessings: simply meeting the most interesting souls in your lifetime who beckon you to something better, to some place new; doing the things you never imagined you can do, nurturing your home (knowing that the universal responsibility begins there)… I can’t believe they’re all happening to me one after another.

I love how life is with me, my family, my relationships with friends, colleagues and even the strangers I run into everyday. My daughters are becoming more engaged in their lives outside home, more independent to take care of themselves while I condition myself to be more trusting that they can always decide the smallest things on their own. I felt renewed for most of these things are lessons from a thorough life. I aim to have it followed with a validation that my yearning for a wrist *tattoo will finally come to fruition next week because I saw its meaning from all the things I have spoken of above.

*The lotus flower and the Buddhist Om symbol became entirely it on my left wrist, in sunburst red orange. I had it done two days after I wrote this article in September. And it felt good! It signified the many changes and storms I survived – nothing compared to all the tests of time, if about the pain. I thought that it’s the best time to manifest them visually on my body because there is already openness, no more darkness to hide.

Feel free to email: charissemalazarte@yahoo.com

HAPPINESS IS THE TWO OF YOU.

It’s inevitable that, from time to time, I’ll stumble through the weeds of sentimentality in order to explain just how I feel.  All of these I’m doing for both of you to make sure you grow up stronger, wiser, loving and respecting the people you encounter throughout your lifetime. 

You both have your own purpose to live and my happiness ultimately commences with the one and only thought that wherever destiny will bring you, you will take care of each other forever.  And up to my twilight years,  promise that we will always be each other’s source of strength.

Happy Mother’s Day to me -  sometimes I find it difficult to come to terms with the realities of life that someday, leaves will wither and time will continue to move on.  I used to say I’ll tuck you both in my arms so we could travel together and see the world. But now, it seems so unimaginable to see how much you’ve grown – taller, more independent, no longer the children I could tuck in my arms. I will still bring you to places new to your eyes someday. And my love is something you will deeply realize when you are already the ones to bring a life into this world.  I love you, Wam and Sasan.

FLY, FLY AWAY!

ONE

Last December, Starbucks released this collector’s item journal in the U.S. called “1.”  Fleur, because she knew I would have loved to have this, sent it through courier to Che so Che could bring it to me. That was such a long route to reach me!

Thank you for the sweet note written. I love you, Ate. You’re my friend, my sister, my editor, my patient publisher who never gave up on waiting for the manuscript to come into fruition.You keep me standing tall all the time and make me live fully by knowing how much I am loved by people like you. You know, the ones that never leave until there’s calm after each storm, no matter what?

If others will take a peek into our little world, perhaps they’ll see  how much we’ve squeezed a lot out of life in 20 years. And life has been good to both of us.*

CHIK’AN.

This Kashmiri shawl had the detailed chikan embroidery. It came with a pair of satin pillow cases Neha chose. I loved this, Baba!  Thanks so much.

http://www.india9.com/i9show/Chikan-Embroidery-47639.htm

( G, I still remember what you taught me four years ago. You were always excited to bring me to that store in Central Delhi that sold those white cotton dresses and tops that had chikan embroidery. It’s always vivid, to me.)

APO.

Feb. 20, 2010 – Sunday.  I went to Eastwood to see Chavi and have some Indian dinner.

And while traversing the pathway leading to some more clubs, looking for some more mojitos or midori, Chavi and I chanced upon this, we were like kids! Wow, I didn’t know there’s something like this in Manila.

Jim, I seized the moment so I could take a photo of it. I love APO very much until the moment I leave this world! I guess everyone says the same, too ( In his wittiest element, he advised us to feel free to step on them anytime!).

Simple things that bring good feelings. I love APO.

WALANG HANGGANG PAALAM.

On the evening of Panagbenga, walking toward our corner inside Ayuyang Bar, a man on stage was beginning to sing Walang Hanggang Paaalam with his guitar. I was so magnetized by the crowd in that dimly-lit small hall filled with the collective voice of people singing. Have you any inkling how it felt  when a moment was emboldened by beautiful, low-key music?  It was solemn, surreal and I, struck in the heart that all of them knew every line and word!

Sam whispered to me that she and Rica were suddenly time traveling to their years in the mountains, almost in tears to remember the underground where they left their old lives. No one could sing it so deeply like Joey Ayala; but that man – his voice was as powerful as this.  It became beyond joy that another Tagalog song brought out my best spirit! Under the moon, we walked up and down the alleys of Baguio, never knowing this will orchestrate our next major *LSS  in the coming days.

*Last song syndrome.

 

Words and music , Joey Ayala.

Music by Joey Ayala.  This arrangement, by Noli Aurillo.

THERE ARE SOME SONGS THAT ARE JUST SO…SIMPLY RED.

This should be one of them.

SOMEDAY IN MY LIFE

Here from the top of a mountain
I see you there
In the cool night air
Someday in my life.

Fear has no reason to doubt them
They tell me so
Yet they will never know
You are here in my life.

Wherever I go now
I’ll follow you
And my heart will be true
I have never known someone
To stay right here
Soon you will be right here
Someday in my life.
Here from the top of a mountain
I see you there
In the cool night air
Someday in my life

Storms may rage on about them
They hail and snow
Yet they will never know
You are here in my life

Wherever I go now
I’ll follow you
And my heart will be true
I have never known someone
To stay right here
Soon you will be right here
Someday in my life.

Words and music Mick Hucknall for Simply Red.

JUST ENOUGH TO PIERCE.

Some longing and hurting need expression from time to time. I no longer entertain the thought of writing about these feelings but today, they seemed like having a life of their own and wrote to represent me.

I felt like the soft sand in an hourglass, slowly drifting and passing through the slender passage but never ever losing any grain.

THE DRAGON DANCERS IN MY DAUGHTER’S LIFE.

Chinese New Year in Binondo, old China Town, 14th February, 2010.

A crowd was gaga over the dragon dancers, Roxeanne was still scared.  It dawned on me that she still hasn’t outgrown the fright.  We lived quite long just very near the old Savory on Buendia and Roxas Blvd. In the mid -90′s they transferred to F.B. Harrison corner Buendia where the location was just some steps from where we lived. During Chinese New Years, she always saw the dragon dancers and was always frightened and horrified, it was when she was about 2 to 7.  As opposed to her sister Wam who’s always dauntless (except from the Tom and Jerry mascots that sent her to hysteria inside Landmark Department Store when she was 4 or 5), Roxeanne and I always stayed inside the house to make sure she never heard and saw them.

Trying to appear brave at the sight of the dragon dancers approaching our vehicle, she told me without looking, that it was the sound of the drums and the hurried and fidgety movements of the faux dragon. And I told her, that was basically what the dragon was all about – * a river spirit… frightening and bold but demonstrating power and dignity.

This was my daughter’s reflection in the photo, bottom left, looking away from the happening outside the window. I know that from now on, she will always remember those dragon moments with a grin as the window for making such memories is rapidly closing because she and her “Ate” have grown up and are more conscious about much bigger things in life now.

________

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_dance

OLD, OLD WISH…

A matryoshka doll is a set of Russian nested dolls of decreasing sizes placed one inside the other.

Look at what I found at The Paper Tolle! As a kid, I used to see them moving in animation on Sesame Street, I always longed to have them. I shared the photo with you - I knew you would have had the same reaction, more or less; and that you would care about me finding the few things I really, really love.

PINE NEEDLES.

This dramatic sunset and the cold air that touched my face. I quipped,” Sam, capture it!  Capture it!”  And while I continued brushing away from my hair the pine needles, showered down by the wind to multiple directions, the glint of sunlight was saying goodbye to this wonderful day.

I fell in love long time ago with this same place. To it,  I attributed my soliloquy… I felt more attuned to nature like how God would have had taken me by the hand to stay much closer to Him.

(Taken by Sam at CJH on a Sunday afternoon, the 24th of January, 2010.)

I BURIED MINE AND THAT OF THE WORLD’S.

We must visit this cemetery more often to maintain our positivity by means of presenting its contrast.

 Back in the old days, soldiers at Camp John Hay were taught that negative thoughts were unproductive and limiting of  their potentials. So they were asked to gather and bury them on that little hill which they called the Cemetery of Negativism. While the cemetery was only a symbolical representation, they actually did mock funerals to seal the ceremony.  I can imagine!

I took a long moment with Sam to stand there, stationary; the way you come close to a book you’ve always wanted to read in a bookstore, so you leaf through the pages slowly and surely. And before I could have turned my back, I fought hard – tooth and nail –  that with it  was my cynicism buried on the same grounds – else, I will infinitely get lost in its inconsequential power.

PRECIOUS TIME.

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote and spoke in earnest about what’s going on in my life and of the daily flow of circumstances surrounding it. I was too absorbed – while committing my time outside work to attend to my family which should be the core of all responsibilities – into reconnecting with old friends, meeting new ones, nurturing what I have and ruling out the possibilities of reconciling with those whom I lost. December came and I began hearing carols and timeless Christmas songs in the air, in the car while in transit, from colleagues at work who hummed ” Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” I tried to steady myself and put things in perspective.

The year is ending, what have I learned from the long trail of challenges, twists of fate and streaks of inspirations mixed together that came about? I took every step toward the yearend and by every move when the clock’s hands stroke the 24th hour every day – must I look back?

The resonance of every word spoken, every trace of love that healed me over time will never be a backstory. I continue to keep an open mind that these are omnipresent, like God’s love. When I anticipate disappontment, I have learned to maneuver my pace to treat each downfall as a way to gauge my strength. I look at life this way now. Perhaps, because there is so little time left to contemplate at my whim. In a few months, I will turn 39 and my daughter will be of legal age. There’s so much to be done, so much love to be given and happiness abounds where there is openness of one’s spirit.

I long to welcome my new year in the same way I smile at mornings when I see the sun kindling its bright ray to light up the entire world. And to thank you, with whom I shared this, for the things you do that inspire me to become a perennially blossoming spirit. How precious this year has been to find each of you at every port, or on every trail and every moment.

(To be continued…)

MORE THAN TIME AND SPACE.

All the times we’d sit or walk, whiling away the time longer than how it became, watching Bio channel or finding joy in talking about little things… Or hear you weave your aspirations like they were threads of varied colors – in your world I found so hard to grasp, it always almost slipped through my hands, but we always persevered. To me, loving always meant never stopping to be proud of you, and of what your pursuits have continued becoming even when you failed to understand why.

Wherever life may bring you now without me, I always knew there will be snippets of loving thoughts outweighing what was lonely, each moment you remember. Like a tapestry of memories, we had too much to fold and weave; you know they always gave me warmth.

I loved you for what you are, if only to say it with all my life. I’m oblivious to the thought that someday I will be able to cross paths with the same you again. That “you” with whom I never had to be any other person but me, that “you” who cared about my deepest fears and what used to be our far-fetched dreams. I often wondered if this was predestined – why, no matter how we tried, time and space always seemed to interfere. But I never ceased loving you much more than how the countless passing of sunsets tried to steal you away, all the time…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL3LDTsuxlM

REVEALING THE BEAUTY IN ONE’S THOUGHTS.

( One day,  a stranger wrote on my old blog as a response to an old post. It’s merely about finding inspiration; I thought his words were wonderful, I could use them to make one or two readers smile, somehow. But I failed to even register his last name, or where he’s from -  sincerely wishing that he comes across this page someday. )

Charisse,

I just think you are a very talented writer where your thoughts come out clearly and originally on the page. I enjoyed reading the pieces and I’ll get into your blog to see what creativity you have there to woo me. I appreciate good writing because I’m a poet, writer and artist. September, I have plans to take guitar lessons, so life is amazingly what you make of it…How much you put in equates to what you get out. All too true, we never get anything out of things that don’t inspire us or move us in some ways. But we have to explore, put in the time to find out. Relationships are quite similar in that way, come to think about it.

Incidentally, I thought the photos you shared are quite wonderful, your daughters are angels and my thoughts reading the Taj Mahal pictures was magnificent. It is, perhaps, the word that describes your thoughts; quite honestly it’s true and I’m totally honest about thinking that because I only want to deal with the truth, period. And revealing what those thoughts are is simply affirming what is already true.

Nice to meet you through this medium, I hope we can have some deep and meaningful conversations in the near future, I would love that immensely.

M.

08/09/2008

WAM.

Wam, I hope you will always remember that after all the challenges we encounter in our lives, happiness will forever bubble to the surface…

LIKE THE LOTUS FLOWER.

“I love the lotus because while growing from mud, it is unstained.” – Zhou Dunyi

I was right on time before the usherette closed the door of the Cultural Center of the Philippines’ Dream Theater for the national anthem to be sung a few days ago. The documentary Walking The Waking Journey was about to have its 2nd run, after almost three months since its world premiere. I realized it will take long before I can have another wide screen viewing of this kind again. So I hurried to CCP which, fortunately, is only a five-minute drive from where I live. This time, I felt compelled to digest more deeply every scene and every teaching I could learn from what was being shown.

The trailer said,” A simple man of boundless determination with a mission to bring back hope to a village at the end of the Himalayas.” This, pertaining to a Buddhist monk who was fulfilling his promise to reunite with their families, after seven years, the 11 Himalayan children who were put under his care in India for the free education they will never be able to have in the mountains 18,000 feet above sea level. The journey, in its essence proved so reassuring but along the way, the test of courage and will had become very imminent. Bad weather, the possibility of hypothermia, the risk of landslide during the 30-day trek. If empathy could bring us back to those days when they were filming it and be where they were, walk with them where all trails appeared ominous as the altitude came almost closer to the sky – we would have understood better what it meant.

And so, they reached their destination! No amount of happiness could ever surpass that which was shown in the faces of their waiting families, equally as it was in the faces of these children who braved time and distance just to be home once more. Though it meant leaving again to continue what was started in Nepal. I could still remember little boy Karma by name while the faces of the others remained etched in my memory until today. My passion was burning over their immersion in chanting, closing their eyes, touching each others foreheads and praying – I almost touched their faith! The sutra and its enlightenment, to these young souls ( Why can’t I meditate in the same intensity? I am,after all, still a waif in my own consciousness.).

In his narration, the Buddhist monk Lama Tenzin was unwavering in his ordeal. I vividly remembered an inspiring line he uttered. He said,” When I entered the monastery many years ago, the first thing my teacher told me was that from then on, I should be responsible for all human beings.” I didn’t contemplate for a single minute to believe what he said because what he was in the documentary personified the most basic, genuine and sterling values of all: selflessness, kindness and compassion. The circle of life would not have been quite meaningful in the absence of these traits; however, it always left me wondering why we, as ordinary people, always fail to encourage ourselves to typify such character, all encompassing. And perhaps, by this simple enlightenment, we will be able to resemble that state of being. We begin with our families, with the people around us, with strangers and our community.

I thought it will be more inspiring if they can create something like this in our country. I could have known- actually, he already did, but the opportunity I was anticipating to have to ask him personally so I could write about it more was derailed by the wrath of typhoon Pepeng in Baguio and the Cordillera. The roads from Baguio to Manila were closed on the day he was supposed to be in Manila for the screening. In the morning, there was no more way the weather was permitting him, and how he felt bad to not be able to weather the storm, in its truest sense! Nature really is optimum when it casts its part.

Ferdie, you could have seen again how your film was awing and at the same time sharing with viewers a repository of new information and inspiration, I was involuntarily able to eavesdrop their whispers from my left and right, front and back.

This paradigm as a way of viewing reality for the community that shares it…I know that somewhere, somehow in our country, there is someone like Lama Tenzin and the cause he continuously forwards up to this day, only in a different scenario. I learned a multitude of values from the 80-minute documentary. Most of which I endeavor to practice until it becomes my way of life. And some, I’d like to still ponder on

Two days ago, a friend shared with me his thoughts on the lotus flower as regard to this story I wrote. The lotus signifies divine beauty, one that suggests the expansion of the soul. As I researched a bit more, I was also taken to one of its origin in Chinese culture with a famous statement made by one Confucian scholar. It says,*”I love the lotus because while growing from mud, it is unstained.” This is where I relate the journey of the monk and the 11 children.

I wish for all of us to personify it in our daily lives. What more, right here, when there’s too much to rebuild amidst the inconceivable calamity brought by the two typhoons. After nature had taken its toll entirely on Luzon, we will remain unstained from the mud where we will grow again like the lotus flower and do what the Lama has in him innate: selflessness in helping others.

This is the fruit of one-month- worth of passion, courage and labor. Director Ferdie (Balanag) and his team put in together a result worthy of international recognition. The film was about the real trials that abounded in the middle of the trek, footages and determination put together to arrive at a full-length. It’s easy for some to create documentaries especially when funded beyond limit – but this one is different from the rest, you can ask me why, perhaps I will hold back for a minute and still advise you to see it for yourself. Or maybe because on the side it was, more than anything , a spiritual journey for all of them.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Padma_%28attribute%29

_______

The link to Walking The Waking Journey:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&suggest&note(Thank you, Ferdie, for allowing me to incorporate the story of WTWJ with my article for the Arizona Filipino Forum’s October issue. And to Jordan Arabejo for the photos loaned to me.)

_______
The link to Walking The Waking Journey:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&suggest&note_id=183146015897#/video/video.php?v=51464416741&ref=mf

http://azpinoy.com

The link to Zhou Dunyi and the quote about the lotus:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Padma_%28attribute%29

The link to the Himalayan foundation:

http://himalayanchildren.org/

HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA’S NOBEL PRIZE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.

(I just want to share with you a piece of writing which will never leave me jaded from reading over and over and over again.)

Your Majesty, Members of the Nobel Committee, Brothers and Sisters.

I am very happy to be here with you today to receive the Nobel Prize for Peace. I feel honored, humbled and deeply moved that you should give this important prize to a simple monk from Tibet I am no one special. But I believe the prize is a recognition of the true value of altruism, love, compassion and non-violence which I try to practice, in accordance with the teachings of the Buddha and the great sages of India and Tibet.

I accept the prize with profound gratitude on behalf of the oppressed everywhere and for all those who struggle for freedom and work for world peace. I accept it as a tribute to the man who founded the modern tradition of non-violent action for change Mahatma Gandhi whose life taught and inspired me. And, of course, I accept it on behalf of the six million Tibetan people, my brave countrymen and women inside Tibet, who have suffered and continue to suffer so much. They confront a calculated and systematic strategy aimed at the destruction of their national and cultural identities. The prize reaffirms our conviction that with truth, courage and determination as our weapons, Tibet will be liberated.

No matter what part of the world we come from, we are all basically the same human beings. We all seek happiness and try to avoid suffering. We have the same basic human needs and concerns. All of us human beings want freedom and the right to determine our own destiny as individuals and as peoples. That is human nature. The great changes that are taking place everywhere in the world, from Eastern Europe to Africa are a clear indication of this.

In China the popular movement for democracy was crushed by brutal force in June this year. But I do not believe the demonstrations were in vain, because the spirit of freedom was rekindled among the Chinese people and China cannot escape the impact of this spirit of freedom sweeping many parts of the world. The brave students and their supporters showed the Chinese leadership and the world the human face of that great nation.

Last week a number of Tibetans were once again sentenced to prison terms of up to nineteen years at a mass show trial, possibly intended to frighten the population before today’s event. Their only “crime” was the expression of the widespread desire of Tibetans for the restoration of their beloved country’s independence.

The suffering of our people during the past forty years of occupation is well documented. Ours has been a long struggle. We know our cause is just. Because violence can only breed more violence and suffering, our struggle must remain non-violent and free of hatred. We are trying to end the suffering of our people, not to inflict suffering upon others.

It is with this in mind that I proposed negotiations between Tibet and China on numerous occasions. In 1987, I made specific proposals in a Five-Point plan for the restoration of peace and human rights in Tibet. This included the conversion of the entire Tibetan plateau into a Zone of Ahimsa, a sanctuary of peace and non-violence where human beings and nature can live in peace and harmony.

Last year, I elaborated on that plan in Strasbourg, at the European Parliament I believe the ideas I expressed on those occasions are both realistic and reasonable although they have been criticized by some of my people as being too conciliatory. Unfortunately, China’s leaders have not responded positively to the suggestions we have made, which included important concessions. If this continues we will be compelled to reconsider our position.

Any relationship between Tibet and China will have to be based on the principle of equality, respect, trust and mutual benefit. It will also have to be based on the principle which the wise rulers of Tibet and of China laid down in a treaty as early as 823 AD, carved on the pillar which still stands today in front of the Jokhang, Tibet’s holiest shrine, in Lhasa, that “Tibetans will live happily in the great land of Tibet, and the Chinese will live happily in the great land of China.”

As a Buddhist monk, my concern extends to all members of the human family and, indeed, to all sentient beings who suffer. I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. We need to cultivate a universal responsibility for one another and the planet we share. Although I have found my own Buddhist religion helpful in generating love and comˇpassion, even for those we consider our enemies, I am convinced that everyone can develop a good heart and a sense of universal responsibility with or without religion.

With the ever-growing impact of science on our lives, religion and spirituality have a greater role to play reminding us of our humanity. There is no contradiction between the two. Each gives us valuable insights into the other. Both science and the teachings of the Buddha tell us of the fundamental unity of all things. This understanding is crucial if we are to take positive and decisive action on the pressing global concern with the environment.

I believe all religions pursue the same goals, that of cultivating human goodness and bringing happiness to all human beings. Though the means might appear different the ends are the same.

As we enter the final decade of this century I am optimistic that the ancient values that have sustained mankind are today reaffirming themselves to prepare us for a kinder, happier twenty-first century.

I pray for all of us, oppressor and friend, that together we succeed in building a better world through human understanding and love, and that in doing so we may reduce the pain and suffering of all sentient beings.

Thank you.

http://www.dalailamafoundation.org/dlf/en/xiv.jsp#nobel

ON BUDDHISM.

How do you take a spiritual journey? Where to begin? Who do you follow?

YOUR DIFFERENT SIDE, JAJA.

Dear Jaja,

I’ve seen a different side of you today. You were talking to me, Toti, Imee, Terry and Geremi from just across the table; and by how I measured it, it seemed like you have traveled through the entire evolution of your life in advance to be so bold and generous in sharing your myriad of experiences with us in one sitting. Today, I have become a good listener to your dispositions, antics and cuss words that seemed like your auto pilot terms of endearment to your sparring best friend Geremi – all in between grabbing the videoke’s microphone and Carlos I whisky. ( I wanted to snort and chuckle as I recalled your banters with Geremi, they were so funny. I thought if for some miracle Jason was there, it would have been an even funnier act!)

Living in a faraway country over the years have cemented your maturity in understanding life, although (thankfully) it never actually changed your cheerful, laid-back character. I said I saw a different side of you because today you cared more about the little things around you, for the first time you brought me a bottle of Smirnoff, you instantly understood the need to help strangers based on the fondness you showed toward Hubert, Frankie and Mang Bok,and you didn’t pick on Toti anymore! Most of all, you cared about how far our life-long friendship has taken. Your friendship with all of us that spun around from our first day in high school. Your relationship with Terry. Your sweetness to your Nanay. Not to mention Jonvic – oh, dear Jonvic! And how much willing you are to pay my hospital bills, jokingly, in case I reach my twilight years alone.

I used to see you as the opposite when we were teenagers but today, in one day, I gained a repository of wonderful things just by observing you.

Cha

FROM UP HERE.

09.18.09                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

(For the Adobo Forum, September ’09 issue.)

From up here, perhaps thousands of miles above the earth, everything looked perfect to me. I saw the cloud formation outside the window and behind me, Fleur whispered if I noticed the rainbow showing off its kaleidoscope of colors like it was just at an arm’s length. I glued my face to the plane’s window, exactly like how you would have left a lip mark if ever you had a lipstick on, to look directly at the wonder happening outside.

And I thought to myself how magnificent God’s creation was at the moment. Like a kid, I had wished I were an owl, to keep my neck spinning at a 360- degree angle – if only to witness whether the rainbow really had an end or not, as we sped off towards the almost dark sky .

It’s normally a common sight for travelers. Only, this time I was with Fleur and it wasn’t everyday that we got to view the cotton clouds and rainbow together from our seats in the airplane. Through the years, she never failed to remind me of our beginnings. And we counted so many years… They made me laugh, sneer, whine and laugh again, most importantly. Our travel together was a turning experience that brought us even closer. It created a bond of intimacy that was impossible to form under just email, chat or phone correspondence from the west to the east. Fleur taught me that fulfillment and happiness will bubble to the surface and when you’re not completely frolic with your life, you have to take bold steps to break out of the mold to continue being productive and healthy in well-being.

I remember how we used to be young and restless; innocent, yet, courageous to change our paths. I am writing this piece as a personal homage to one true friend and the sister I never had.  I owed her much more gratitude than the ones I previously expressed. I am zealous, earnest and so filled with love whenever I get reminded with her belief. I procrastinate in my writing from time to time; yet, she’s there to remind me, lifting me up in the middle of trying times (Oh, tell me about it.).

Thank you, Fleur. Don’t thinkof it as a bias essay because you are so much larger than life in your generosity to make others glow in the same way with your brightness. But I would like to tell you so thankfully that from up there, when we were both viewing the rainbow at an altitude that clogged our ears we had to open our mouths to extinguish it, I felt the years of friendship we nurtured and extended to our children and friends. So cliche but the truth is, George was right – that as we grow older we don’t lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are.

You don’t know what it means to me after I lost many other things along the way.

http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com
http://azpinoy.com
email at : charissemalazarte@yahoo.com

BEYOND EACH LOSS.

Too long a time was spent finding where the bits and pieces came forth. Where you are now is what I have enabled myself to understand. And if by chance time may prove me right, I’d like for you someday to see that there’s far more wonderful things to be had than the ones we tried to forget.

I looked at you and thought, there’s nothing new anymore that I know of you. Not even the old I found easy to remember. Maybe because of the time that passed us by. And though I wanted to hold on to what I can still remember, it’s certainly all but fragments of the past now.

Life came about more rewarding after these challenges and I’m using this time to embark on more meaningful things – in seeing how thoughtfully friends, family and even new bonding have lifted me back to the place where I used to stand. And in helping me clarify my ideas about the life I’ve always wanted to have. Further than the purview of what I once thought was my comfort in the people and opportunities I eventually had lost and left me. I’ve forgone that and I’m on my way to some place brighter, wider and new – before the universe takes its own action that enough has been endured.

http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com
http://azpinoy.com

NARCISSISM.

narcissism nar·cis·sism (när’sĭ-sĭz’əm) or nar·cism (när’sĭz’əm)
n.

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
2. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.

( Hahaha! Jokingly.)

SO MY STORY ENCOMPASSES A FEW SIGNIFICANT THINGS.

…When your children were way, way younger, it’s very impossible to imagine a life where they will not live with you, where you will not see them everyday or know what they’re doing. You loosen your grip so they can breathe but it doesn’t mean you neglect that part when you should be the powerhouse that shelters their lives until they become free to fly on their own.

…Yesterday, someone wrote about a biblical passage that spoke of the greatest spiritual gifts from the book of Corinthians. It said that “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails.” When I read it, I glanced at the bible beside my bed ( I usually sleep on it open every night. ) and read the entire chapter. And I cried out of nothingness! That kind of thing when lightning hits you? What he wrote was only verse three of chapter 13… I thought verse seven contained the most beautiful passage in the chapter. It said,” Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” We used to take these words for granted, didn’t we? I realized how golden they were and will forever be. Even when I know quite truly how capable I am to represent it, I still will always fall short to justify it as human.

… Last night, I was seated strangely ( sitting that looked like I was standing so Milano had to ask me,” Why are you seated that way,Cha?” Hahaha.) beside Ed and Ciara while Kat stood inside the bar opposite us. He was telling me about the upcoming contract as guitarist and arranger for a famous singer for her home record label. Wasn’t that good news! Even after so long, all the things that happened in the course of fighting for his life figuratively proved to be all worth the pain. And on how to start another brand new beginning with Kat and their new family, God never took them for granted. All the blessings are coming their way! We were in the front row seats to the high’s and low’s, you see. And as good friends, we were returning last night to the days of their hardships. I reminded him of how all of these came about. God is presenting His love for them in the simplest ways because they both helped themselves. And because they have been very good human beings who never spoke ill of people. I think that mattered most. I love you, Kat and Ed! I didn’t know this day will come when your story had inspired me incessantly, it left an afterthought like the LSS to the last memorable song heard.

(I thought sharing simple things like this can create a positive impact on us. I, for one, am in a continuous walk toward discovering miracles in our daily lives. Even when reality tells us otherwise sometimes – at the end of the day, there will always be a hope for another brand new beginning! And I always believed that. )

*** This came  out published at the Arizona Filipino Forum June 3rd issue  ( www.azpinoy.com). Thanks Ed (Alfafara), Kat (Maes), Ciara and Milano (Sanchez)  for allowing me to mention your names in the article.

WALA NANG HAHANAPIN PA

I loved it more during Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo’s  wedding. So did everyone who watched it.

“AKO LANG.”

The first I took time to play the CD “Ako Lang” in the car on the way home from Loyola Heights was on Tuesday evening. And song after song, I realized ,”Wala ka nga’ng itatapon ni isa ( there’s no track wasted ).” Each song was a chapter in Jim Paredes’ life as himself, freely flowing. And I have always believed that when one knows the story behind the creation of each song, it has the power to allow him to appreciate it even deeply.

The hardcore sentimental me was won over by a song called “Lumisan Na Siya ( track number three).” I explained to a friend today that it was the kind of track that y0u would love listening to on a long road trip “na humahagulgol! ( bursting in tears!). The 5th captured me, nonetheless –  it was a song he wrote for his family. When I was browsing through the list of tracks, I asked if it was mellow – he said yes, and that’s the song only he can sing because no other man will have the same names for his wife and children.

“Live Your Own Life,” if I can recall, was the one he played during our workshop which he wrote for his daughter as she began to face her world and “Thank You,Mama” was a personal tribute to his mother.

It was limitless in the scope of creating what materials he recorded. To quote Jim, “Naglaro ako sa album na yan.” And that playground, actually, was like a sandbox where kids threw sands and had fun together! He played, too, with the musicians who collaborated with him. Like Ugoy-ugoy and a few more. This was his project : ten songs he wrote in 1996 and 1997 aptly called “Ako Lang ( Only Me)”.

Thanks,Jim. If  for anything, we take the inspiration from the fact that you’re walking us through this road. How much longer would it take on this journey doesn’t really matter at all, as long as we all share the connection under one premise. This album is your gift, so happy it reached the people who found knowing you as a blessing.

Lydia,Ayca,Mio,Ala

10 SONGS.

I can say that this is their own metaphor of deep-rooted brotherly support shown in this snap. :

A photo in the Paredes’ dining room with Jim Paredes.

WHEN I SAW YOU DRIFTING.

March 9, 2009

Do you remember two weeks ago when we would just talk about it and laugh hard imagining who would be the best to play Homer if The Simpsons will be made into a full-length movie with human casts? You said Danny Devito or Joe Pesci? And we’d end up saying,” Nah…They don’t resemble! In fact, no one can resemble Homer’s character unless they cast from auditions.

And I said,” What about Marge?!! And the husky voice with her tall hair?!?” Forget it.

We’d talk about anything under the sun. Hours that stretched on until we realized we had other things to do to go about our own daily lives. And we’d hold each other’s hand. I missed that today. It’s our Sunday. For the entire year, it had always been our Sunday.

I smiled alone and asked myself why it had to be The Simpsons’ DVD playing at home to remind me of all these things. Ironic, too ,that for the first time – I cried hard upon coming across that feeling. And it was the boohoo cry. Grin. Days now seemed longer than they ever had been.

THE SURPRISE OF LIFE.

March 6, 2009  (For ADOBO FORUM – Arizona Fil. Forum newspaper in March)

In this world where all electronic gadgets function with microchips and toys can be most complicated than they had ever been 25 years ago, I was – for some strange reasons, lately- hit by a myriad of retrospection coming from friends and anecdotes that branched out from certain conversations! And somehow, they evoked memories with their power – like to wash them back from the sea to the shore to form the sand.

A few days ago, I wrote something about an airplane. Not about how it was made or if it had the engine that can par at launching a space rocket – it was about childhood wonder, a snap in a conversation that was focused on how nice the linguine looked with all the shrimp toppings! Grinning, I suddenly had the inspiration to put the scenario in black and white and thought about my generation when we were children contented in measuring happiness by counting the dragonflies we caught and innocently kept in our bottles.

It may sound too shallow but I regaled catching the attention of people close to me, when I published the journal online, who said they felt the same and were once again thrilled by the thought of it! In essence, all I want to put to light many times over is that simple joy can come from unexpected circumstances. We don’t have to pay for it to have it. Come on,the world is overflowing with its virtual presence – only, there’s too much loneliness and grief brought by poverty, unfair social discrimination, war and crimes. What we have to know is that we can always find that state of bliss in the simplest situations, whether or not we get reminded by the memories of airplanes and dragonflies.

Please read on the piece I wrote two days ago and remember how it used to be. I am, after all, the sucker for anything nostalgic from childhood and I use that to empower me in my reflections on life as an inevitable,vicious cycle.

* The previous article was called HOW IT USED TO BE.*
(Written on Tue 1:46pm ;March 3rd.)

HOW IT USED TO BE.

March 3, 2009

When Aris posted a link to Paulo Coelho’s new book called The Winner Stands Alone with an excerpt, the part about what happens inside an airplane caught me. There was an epiphany. It usually transpires at unpredicatable intervals when significant things happen in succession.

Last night, I was having a quiet dinner with a friend outside a nice restaurant near GMA 7. I was expressionless when he pointed at the sky and told me there was an airplane passing us by; perhaps miles distant from Tomas Morato,vertically . I stared up from where we sat and he said”, Do you remember when we were children? I’ve been in an airplane many times but nothing can replace the wondrous feeling of looking at it fly, with its lights beaming, from the ground. Do you remember that, Cha?”

And I said,” Yeah…I remember how it felt…Yeah…” And it transported me back to my childhood. Memories that come back that way are ever so beautiful, spontaneous. I’m sure Peaches and Erica will look at it with the same innocent guilessness because we grew up in the same neighborhood where airplanes seemed so near from the ground where they took off and landed.

Unconsciously, I was left in my wonderland.  Imagine how simple joy can bloom from the influx of simple circumstances that are often taken for granted now? This, to me, is one of the many!

EVERY CHAPTER.

March 2, 2009

I can’t remember a time when you looked for me anywhere; yet, you always had found me. In so many twists of fate, how is it to wait and live each day that way ? I realized the magnitude of this love that proved unconditional – and quite deeply, I always believed we knew each other too well.

Once, if I’m gone, let the thought fly with the wind. Let it be just a beautiful memory, forever a manifestation of a love that waited and given so kindly. I’ve known your life as it presented itself to me all this time. It wasn’t easy embracing it but I will not stop trying. No soul had seen me or would believe me but I grew with the splendor brought by the simplest of time spent; like the bottle gone older that had the better tasting wine. We have become that , I’d like to think.

I’m facing all sides; yet, going nowhere. Your world keeps on moving, I chose to be at a standstill. And even so, life will go on as we leaf through every chapter of this life mostly spent apart.

TIME PASSING.

February 14, 2009

While having dinner outside, I asked my daughter why everyone’s kept busy buying chocolates and flowers for Valentine’s Day. We were queueing in the mall payment counter and almost everyone had chocolates in cute boxes to buy. And she quipped,”Of course, because it’s Valentine’s Day!”

I was asked to write something relevant to the occasion. I was torn between writing a love story that eventually led to a blissful marriage and a plot that says it all – holding true the fact that whether or not you have someone who’s romantically a part of your life – there’s no reason to whine about not having one. Today, the feeling resonated with me and I had to admit to myself that ironically, it affected me! Hahaha.

All I want to share is not the the essence of having to be loved but to have the capacity to love and be unselfish in doing so without losing our self-worth. From the lessons I learned in the course of living, there were times I stumbled upon some blocks but I remained strong to stand up always. Transforming this into an inspiration to make sense of my own life, that of my children and of the other people whom I love and who love me is incomparable. Whether or not it’s Valentine’s Day! It always brings me close to so many wonderful things! Like wanting to write, to make beautiful things with my daughters and do much,much better in my job. It makes me want, too, to sing out loud more often, laugh hysterically more often, to be able to drive my car fast down highways and a lot more…To make this world better than it ever had been.

I remember how it has been for me over the many, many years that passed. Valentines day was supposed to be something everyone should be excited about. Then again, I figured, nothing had ever been different for me. It still is just time passing.

*From my Adobo Forum, February 14th issue of AFF.*

TO REMEMBER MY FATHER.

February 23, 2009

I was nine when my father passed away. I remember doing my homework on an early evening in the living room wondering why all the people in the house were weeping from a telephone call that came from Vienna. They said he’s gone. You know the feeling anyone gets upon the loss of someone who just left or said goodbye? What more if someone died? It resembled the shrinking of the heart during separation anxiety, only worst and horrifying because there was no more possibility of coming back. For a child who didn’t know the truest meaning of pain, it suddenly brought me to the prolonged grief of losing a father at such age of innocence.

How much of this strengthened me as a person to not have the male figure in the family to provide when I was growing up. I had thought life would have been the same. We didn’t have what we wanted but I’m thankful that I have my mother who has seen us through all these years – and my brothers up to this very day. The journey is still ongoing; however, the future doesn’t seem bleak. I still tell my daughters about my childhood when my Daddy was alive. It had traces of achievement, hope, children’s books, vocabulary to review. He dreamt for me and our family a lifetime that’s better than anyone else’. In so many ways, time proved him different even when he’s gone. Soon, life will be better in all aspects, I believe. There’s always a way to achieve what we want. At least, what he dreamt for me to be able to improve the quality of our life even more. I feel that time is running out as I age, but that will not deter me from still trying on my own to get to that destination.

This is life, Dadddy – I learned from it , and still I do,the hard way.

DOLPHY: ANOTHER UNFOLDING OF HIS LIFE AT 80!

January 23, 2009

I’m gearing up for my second take at writing for Adobo Forum and had a whirlwind of ideas in my head on whether to feature a recent wedding in Intramuros I attended last week or write about the ongoing projects the Quizon family (of Philippine movies) had the ball rolling from middle of last year. I thought that writing about the latter now would make an even more extensive exposure for Comedy King Dolphy’s autobiography, life story in DVD, and foundation in the Arizona community of Filipinos. After the Dolphy @ 80 US and Canada tour (an ongoing celebration of his 80 years of existence and 64th as a an icon in Philippine showbiz) that took place in October and November, 2008 – the first two projects I mentioned are currently in full swing in distribution here in the Philippines and abroad.

Back in January 2008, I recalled coming to Rockwell one Saturday evening to see Dolphy’s son (singer/composer)Ronnie Quizon coming from a private party held in the area for his father. That was the exact time I learned that they were halfway onto the research and production of their father’s life story as well as the publication of his book entitled “ DOLPHY : HINDI KO ITO NARATING MAG-ISA. I was told that it had Dolphy narrating his story to Bibeth, after which she transcribed it in book form. Traces of his voice and thoughts resonating from every corner of each page – Bibeth became the significant instrument in putting that voice into words to be read. Suffice it to say, too, that during the making of the film – there were really long days and nights from January to July spent sleepless working on it, with Ronnie and his editors rummaging film archives for clips to supplement the documentary. I wondered to myself that it must definitely be something big to look forward to!

“The whole concept and idea of the book and the foundation (to help our under privileged “kababayans” as well as the children of OFW’s who may need financial support) came from my brother (actor/ director) Eric (Quizon); while the DVD project was actually an off-shoot concept that came about during the course of the pre-production discussions amongst Eric, Epy, myself and the other people involved,” Ronnie was proudly remembering, after I asked him over dinner to talk about the initial conceptualization of the projects. He was tasked to be in charge of the making of the documentary DVDs (1st part was their father’s public life and the 2nd part was the private life), doing most of the pre-production and post-production work with a handful of people. “That’s outside the main bulk of the work which was writing, directing, and putting it all together,” he added with his usual unstoppable ideas purging! In July of 2008, on Dolphy’s 80th birthday, the three projects were successfully launched to his name by his children and was welcomed by Filipinos as if he was a part of their lives. I think that he has always been, without any effort.

I was able to watch the DVD when it was released, and thrice at that! The actual documentary became an extensive representation of ” the Dolphy we never got to know” – as told by himself, siblings, children, friends, colleagues and the women he was involved with . The book ” DOLPHY: HINDI KO ITO NARATING MAG-ISA,” on the other hand, received favorable reviews by the media and had recently won the “Award For Excellence In The Black & White Print Category” given by the Printing Industries Association of the Philippines. “

Fleur (our editor-in chief), Ronnie, and Eric have been corresponding lately to promote the book, DVD and the “Dolphy Aid Para Sa Pinoy Foundation” in Arizona. Hopefully, this endeavor would materialize very soon – as an addition to the growing patronage in the East and West Coast for the DOLPHY @ 80 celebration for Filipinos not only in the US and the Philippines but also around the world.

I think that just by the mention of Dolphy’s name, one can’t help but be enthused and attached to the magnitude of entertainment and laughter he brought us in his 64 years as the King of Comedy and as one of Philippines’ greatest actors. What more to bring his “life-long legacy both as Rodolfo Quizon and Dolphy ” to a book and documentary film? We all grew up seeing him on television and in the movies, glimpsed upon his private life over the years but never had the microscopic view of how he is as “The Man.” I have not read the contents of the book (Which, I commit, I will!) but seeing the DVD had endeared him to me and all the other people who had seen it even more. What he learned and shared to all by living “metaphorically more” than eighty years of his life: the virtue of simplicity above fame was unfolded in those two medium.

* This came out in the January 23rd issue of my Adobo column in the Arizona Filipino Forum newspaper. Thanks, Ronnie and Eric.*

MY RENEWED ENDEAVOR.

Outside the family where it’s always a priority, one of the things that has always taken me to accomplish on my free will for 2009 is to do some serious writing. I can’t thank enough the people who have been so encouraging and giving me all thumbs up time and again : Fleur, Jim P., Bob Suzara, Georgei, Raine, Kat, Edward, Jetti (for committing his art work) and Southern Grass. They never fail to tell me and believe that I have this way of touching the hearts of many through my own writing style.That’s another succor humbling my heart, especially in times of trials.

Fleur finally had me saying yes to write for the Arizona Filipino Forum Newspaper beginning January. She’s the publisher of this circulation based in Phoenix and two days ago, we worked closely online till midnight PST and fortunately, gave me my own little corner on the Adobo forum page.

I think, more than anything, the exposure itself entails a large part of my commitment to be more responsible in this aspect. The objective is to give our kababayans in AZ a picture of my take on anything under the sun ( Not that I am a master of anything – haha), on human nature or on things that are going on in the Philippines, amongst others. Before it was proofread, I was careful enough to keep it fool-proof, never failing in the grammar and punctuations. I thought it was cool. And they sent me at midnight the layout which appeared as this in the photo attachment.
Added to it, we both wanted that it be a prequel to our project on having to publish the selected writings I have on my blog : http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com to create something like a coffee table book in paperback, perhaps, this year ( it was planned on January of 2008 and I got caught up with my job that 12 months had passed with me only finishing 1/4 of the manuscript)! Unless, she can afford hardbound in the standard paperback size – hehe.

Ronnie ( Quizon) is also high and up with the inspiration to have one of his own under the same publisher – the plot I can not divulge since it might have a conflict on a project he still has with his family.I’ve always encouraged him to partake on this journey because I believe that he can process his thoughts very well. And I thought, this is one blessing for the two of us in support of our own individual interest.:) Just the other day, we spent our time talking about it like the way it was when we were all children enthused by the thought of Christmas Day coming. Looking forward to it somehow.:)

Thank you, Ate. You have not waivered in being beneath my wings. This is just the start. Seriously; and it means let’s eradicate procrastination from our vocabulary. Hahaha.

P.S.
Fleur was asserting that long before Adobo Nation was conceptualised, she already had Adobo Forum existing? LoL. (Maybe we can have somethin’ new like Galunggong Forum, atbp. Hehe.)

Jan. 14, 2009

THE RAINBOW’S END.

Another time in the making and I’m thankful that after all, there is a brand new year to continue walking on that same path. I see it clearly, somehow. Like the rainbow’s end when you’re halfway towards it and you see the pot of gold after such a storm.

There will be our birthdays, our Christmases to be had together this time, as we wanted. Hopefully. I wish I could tell the world the simplest joy I feel knowing you’re coming home.

SPARKS AND PORTIER.

Two new books I’ll cherish. I started leafing thru the pages of The Measure of A Man. I think that Sidney Portier was brilliant on this. As it was written -” it’s like having a conversation with an older brother ; he always doesn’t tell you what you want to hear , but you appreciate it just the same.”
And it’s the last copy!

Three Weeks With My Brother is a book by Nicholas Sparks, a memoir. How he spent a journey with his brother when he was 37 and his brother 38. They recalled their childhood adventures and all the tests of their faith while growing up and until they reached this age. It reminded me of two brothers I know and all the childhood stories the older one always recounted spending together with his brother when they were little. The best part of the cover that captured me was the bicycle and how being born one year apart also had moved me to mention their story resembling that in the book ( I think I would have needed his permission to write about this part or I’ll be sued for invasion of privacy. Grin. ).

I wish I wont have to procrastinate reading. I fell in love with these books just as I saw them in the racks of Powerbooks and the words that brushed my emotions while browsing them.
They will remain on my nightstand until I reach their epilogues.

HEAL.

There was a time when I used to think we had always seen each other through. And that every plan you and I shared for our own individual interests was such a joy to cherish . Even when our story had you always leaving, I was there, always where you left off to wait and save it.

When life was still simpler, funny how life can change in so short a time albeit believing that it won’t. At a time when we should have held on a little more to remain stronger, being the anchor to the ship…

I’m still happy to see that you are where you are right now. Tomorrow, there won’t be me, but I know it doesn’t matter. Some healing takes time, no matter how we try to forego the pain.
I’ll be able to reach that state someday.

ON A NEW ROAD.

 

Before WordPress in 2008, I’ve kept my blogspot since 2003, the very same year I discovered that Friendster was, actually, fun. It only used to be an afterthought for living through each day of my busy life until I realized how therapeutic it can also be. And over the years, that has been my state of mind towards writing.

Read more about my fascination with people passing by where I sit in a cafe and how I am  persuaded to write about them from time to time. In between drinking latte and sleep, I burn the midnight oil to earn modestly to sustain my two daughters and a naturally  simple state of being! And with a trying hard Brit accent, I’d like to enunciate that Elton John and Elvis Costello blow me away -  I, like a kite being taken by the steady, upward wind I metaphored their voices with.

Family and friendships are like the air that I breathe. I say if you let go of them, just like your youth, everything will eventually be BLAH. Keep them – like how you imagine a child holding tightly a lollipop in his hand..