TREKKING BY FOOT ON A NEW ROAD.

 

(Photo taken at the gallery restaurant called Van Gogh Is Bipolar. Thank you, Jetro, for the permission.)

I’ve kept my blogspot since 2003, the very same day I discovered that Friendster was, indeed, fun. It only used to be an afterthought for living through each day of my busy life until I realized how therapeutic it can also be. And over the years, that has been my state of mind toward writing.

Read more about my fascination with people passing by where I sit in a cafe and how I am  persuaded to write about them from time to time. In between drinking latte and sleep, I burn the midnight oil to earn modestly to sustain my two daughters and an encouraged ( and forced) cultured state of being! Elvis Costello blows me away – me, like a kite being blown away and his voice, like the steady upward wind…

Family and friendships are like the air that I breathe. I say if you let go of them, just like your youth, everything will eventually be BLAH. Keep them – like how you imagine a child holding tightly a lollipop in his hand..

~Cha

PRECIOUS TIME.

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote and spoke in earnest about what’s going on in my life and of the daily flow of circumstances surrounding it. I was too absorbed – while committing my time outside work to attend to my family which should be the core of all responsibilities – into reconnecting with old friends, meeting new ones, nurturing what I have and ruling out the possibilities of reconciling with those whom I lost. December came and I began hearing carols and timeless Christmas songs in the air, in the car while in transit, from colleagues at work who hummed ” Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” I tried to steady myself and put things in perspective.

The year is ending, what have I learned from the long trail of challenges, twists of fate and streaks of inspirations mixed together that came about? I took every step toward the yearend and by every move when the clock’s hands stroke the 24th hour every day – must I look back?

The resonance of every word spoken, every trace of love that healed me over time will never be a backstory. I continue to keep an open mind that these are omnipresent, like God’s love. When I anticipate disappontment, I have learned to maneuver my pace to treat each downfall as a way to gauge my strength. I look at life this way now. Perhaps, because there is so little time left to contemplate at my whim. In a few months, I will turn 39 and my daughter will be of legal age. There’s so much to be done, so much love to be given and happiness abounds where there is openness of one’s spirit.

I long to welcome my new year in the same way I smile at mornings when I see the sun kindling its bright ray to light up the entire world. And to thank you, with whom I shared this, for the things you do that inspire me to become a perennially blossoming spirit. How precious this year has been to find each of you at every port, or on every trail and every moment.

(To be continued…)

MORE THAN TIME AND SPACE.

All the times we’d sit or walk, whiling away the time longer than how it became, watching Bio channel or finding joy in talking about little things… Or hear you weave your aspirations like they were threads of varied colors – in your world I found so hard to grasp, it always almost slipped through my hands, but we always persevered. To me, loving always meant never stopping to be proud of you, and of what your pursuits have continued becoming even when you failed to understand why.

Wherever life may bring you now without me, I always knew there will be snippets of loving thoughts outweighing what was lonely, each moment you remember. Like a tapestry of memories, we had too much to fold and weave; you know they always gave me warmth.

I loved you for what you are, if only to say it with all my life. I’m oblivious to the thought that someday I will be able to cross paths with the same you again. That “you” with whom I never had to be any other person but me, that “you” who cared about my deepest fears and what used to be our far-fetched dreams. I often wondered if this was predestined – why, no matter how we tried, time and space always seemed to interfere. But I never ceased loving you much more than how the countless passing of sunsets tried to steal you away, all the time…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL3LDTsuxlM

REVEALING THE BEAUTY OF ONE’S THOUGHTS.

( Out of curiosity, I read the letter a stranger wrote somewhere in my old blog some time ago. And I thought it was so beautiful and endearing. If for anything, I’m just sharing with the readers an excerpt from what he wrote to me to thank him for his views on finding inspiration. Am I bad that I never said my thanks directly, I failed to even register his last name, or where he’s from. I sincerely wish he comes across this page again someday. )

Charisse,

I just think you are a very talented writer where your thoughts come out clearly and originally on the page. I enjoyed reading the pieces and I’ll get into your blog and see what creativity you have there to woo me. I appreciate good writing because I’m a poet, writer and artist. September, I have plans to take guitar lessons, so life is amazingly what you make of it…How much you put in equates to what you get out. All too true, we never get anything out of things that don’t inspire us or move us in some ways. But we have to explore, put in the time to find out. Relationships are quite similar in that way, come to think about it.

Incidentally, I thought the photos you shared are quite wonderful, your daughters are angels and my thoughts reading the Taj Mahal pictures was magnificent. It is, perhaps, the word that describes your thoughts; quite honestly it’s true and I’m totally honest about thinking that because I only want to deal with the truth, period. And revealing what those thoughts are is simply affirming what is already true.

Nice to meet you through this medium, I hope we can have some deep and meaningful conversations in the near future, I would love that immensely.

M.

08/09/2008

WAM.

Wam, I hope you will always remember that after all the challenges we encounter in our lives, happiness will forever bubble to the surface…

LIKE THE LOTUS FLOWER.

“I love the lotus because while growing from mud, it is unstained.” – Zhou Dunyi

I was right on time before the usherette closed the door of the Cultural Center of the Philippines’ Dream Theater for the national anthem to be sung a few days ago. The documentary Walking The Waking Journey was about to have its 2nd run, after almost three months since its world premiere. I realized it will take long before I can have another wide screen viewing of this kind again. So I hurried to CCP which, fortunately, is only a five-minute drive from where I live. This time, I felt compelled to digest more deeply every scene and every teaching I could learn from what was being shown.

The trailer said,” A simple man of boundless determination with a mission to bring back hope to a village at the end of the Himalayas.” This, pertaining to a Buddhist monk who was fulfilling his promise to reunite with their families, after seven years, the 11 Himalayan children who were put under his care in Nepal for the free education they will never be able to have in the mountains 18,000 feet above sea level. The journey, in its essence proved so reassuring but along the way, the test of courage and will had become very imminent. Bad weather, the possibility of hypothermia, the risk of landslide during the 30-day trek. If empathy could bring us back to those days when they were filming it and be where they were, walk with them where all trails appeared ominous as the altitude came almost closer to the sky – we would have understood better what it meant.

And so, they reached their destination! No amount of happiness could outweigh that which was shown in the faces of their waiting families, equally as it was in the faces of these children who braved time and distance to be home once more. Though it meant leaving again to continue their education and what was started. I could still remember little boy Karma by name while the faces of the others remained etched in my memory until today. My passion was burning over their immersion in chanting, closing their eyes, touching each others foreheads and praying – I almost touched their faith! The sutra and its enlightenment, to these young souls ( Why can’t I meditate in the same intensity? I am,after all, still a waif in my own consciousness.).

In his narration, the Buddhist monk Lama Tenzin was unwavering in his ordeal. I vividly remembered an inspiring line he uttered. He said,” When I entered the monastery many years ago, the first thing my teacher told me was that from then on, I should be responsible for all human beings.” I didn’t contemplate for a single minute to believe what he said because what he was in the documentary personified the most basic, genuine and sterling values of all: selflessness, kindness and compassion. The circle of life would not have been quite meaningful in the absence of these traits; however, it always left me wondering why we, as ordinary people, always fail to encourage ourselves to typify such character, all encompassing. And perhaps, by this simple enlightenment, we will be able to resemble that state of being. We begin with our families, with the people around us, with strangers and our community.

I admire Baguio-based Director Ferdie Balanag and his team for creating this visual. I thought it will be more inspiring if they can create something like this in our country. I could have known- perhaps, they already did, but the opportunity I was anticipating to have to ask him personally so i could write about it more was derailed by the wrath of typhoon Pepeng in Baguio and the Cordillera. The roads from Baguio to Manila were closed on the day he was supposed to be in Manila for the screening. He told me early on in the morning that there’s no way the weather was permitting him, and how he felt bad to not be able to be there. Ferdie, you could have seen again how your film was awing and at the same time sharing with viewers a repository of new information and inspiration, I was involuntarily able to eavesdrop their whispers from my left and right, front and back.

This paradigm as a way of viewing reality for the community that shares it…I know that somewhere, somehow in our country, there is someone like Lama Tenzin and the cause he continuously forwards up to this day, only in a different scenario. I learned a multitude of values from the 80-minute documentary. Most of which I endeavor to practice until they become my way of life. And some, I’d like to still ponder on.

Two days ago, someone shared with me his thoughts on the lotus flower as regard to this story I wrote. The lotus signifies divine beauty, one that suggests the expansion of the soul. As I researched a bit more, I was also taken to one of its origin in Chinese culture with a famous statement made by one Confucian scholar. It says,”I love the lotus because while growing from mud, it is unstained.” This is where I relate the journey of the monk and the 11 children.

I wish for all of us to personify it in our daily lives. What more, right here, when there’s too much to rebuild amidst the inconceivable calamity brought by the two typhoons. After nature had taken its toll entirely on Luzon, we will remain unstained from the mud where we will grow again like the lotus flower and do what the Lama has in him innate: selflessness in helping others.

(Thank you, Ferdie, for allowing me to incorporate the story of WTWJ with my article for the Arizona Filipino Forum’s October issue. And to Jordan Arabejo for the photos loaned to me.)

_______
The link to Walking The Waking Journey:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&suggest&note_id=183146015897#/video/video.php?v=51464416741&ref=mf

http://azpinoy.com

The link to Zhou Dunyi and the quote about the lotus:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Padma_%28attribute%29

HIS HOLINESS THE DALAI LAMA’S NOBEL PRIZE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.

(I just want to share with you a piece of writing which will never leave me jaded from reading over and over and over again.)

Your Majesty, Members of the Nobel Committee, Brothers and Sisters.

I am very happy to be here with you today to receive the Nobel Prize for Peace. I feel honored, humbled and deeply moved that you should give this important prize to a simple monk from Tibet I am no one special. But I believe the prize is a recognition of the true value of altruism, love, compassion and non-violence which I try to practice, in accordance with the teachings of the Buddha and the great sages of India and Tibet.

I accept the prize with profound gratitude on behalf of the oppressed everywhere and for all those who struggle for freedom and work for world peace. I accept it as a tribute to the man who founded the modern tradition of non-violent action for change Mahatma Gandhi whose life taught and inspired me. And, of course, I accept it on behalf of the six million Tibetan people, my brave countrymen and women inside Tibet, who have suffered and continue to suffer so much. They confront a calculated and systematic strategy aimed at the destruction of their national and cultural identities. The prize reaffirms our conviction that with truth, courage and determination as our weapons, Tibet will be liberated.

No matter what part of the world we come from, we are all basically the same human beings. We all seek happiness and try to avoid suffering. We have the same basic human needs and concerns. All of us human beings want freedom and the right to determine our own destiny as individuals and as peoples. That is human nature. The great changes that are taking place everywhere in the world, from Eastern Europe to Africa are a clear indication of this.

In China the popular movement for democracy was crushed by brutal force in June this year. But I do not believe the demonstrations were in vain, because the spirit of freedom was rekindled among the Chinese people and China cannot escape the impact of this spirit of freedom sweeping many parts of the world. The brave students and their supporters showed the Chinese leadership and the world the human face of that great nation.

Last week a number of Tibetans were once again sentenced to prison terms of up to nineteen years at a mass show trial, possibly intended to frighten the population before today’s event. Their only “crime” was the expression of the widespread desire of Tibetans for the restoration of their beloved country’s independence.

The suffering of our people during the past forty years of occupation is well documented. Ours has been a long struggle. We know our cause is just. Because violence can only breed more violence and suffering, our struggle must remain non-violent and free of hatred. We are trying to end the suffering of our people, not to inflict suffering upon others.

It is with this in mind that I proposed negotiations between Tibet and China on numerous occasions. In 1987, I made specific proposals in a Five-Point plan for the restoration of peace and human rights in Tibet. This included the conversion of the entire Tibetan plateau into a Zone of Ahimsa, a sanctuary of peace and non-violence where human beings and nature can live in peace and harmony.

Last year, I elaborated on that plan in Strasbourg, at the European Parliament I believe the ideas I expressed on those occasions are both realistic and reasonable although they have been criticized by some of my people as being too conciliatory. Unfortunately, China’s leaders have not responded positively to the suggestions we have made, which included important concessions. If this continues we will be compelled to reconsider our position.

Any relationship between Tibet and China will have to be based on the principle of equality, respect, trust and mutual benefit. It will also have to be based on the principle which the wise rulers of Tibet and of China laid down in a treaty as early as 823 AD, carved on the pillar which still stands today in front of the Jokhang, Tibet’s holiest shrine, in Lhasa, that “Tibetans will live happily in the great land of Tibet, and the Chinese will live happily in the great land of China.”

As a Buddhist monk, my concern extends to all members of the human family and, indeed, to all sentient beings who suffer. I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. We need to cultivate a universal responsibility for one another and the planet we share. Although I have found my own Buddhist religion helpful in generating love and comˇpassion, even for those we consider our enemies, I am convinced that everyone can develop a good heart and a sense of universal responsibility with or without religion.

With the ever-growing impact of science on our lives, religion and spirituality have a greater role to play reminding us of our humanity. There is no contradiction between the two. Each gives us valuable insights into the other. Both science and the teachings of the Buddha tell us of the fundamental unity of all things. This understanding is crucial if we are to take positive and decisive action on the pressing global concern with the environment.

I believe all religions pursue the same goals, that of cultivating human goodness and bringing happiness to all human beings. Though the means might appear different the ends are the same.

As we enter the final decade of this century I am optimistic that the ancient values that have sustained mankind are today reaffirming themselves to prepare us for a kinder, happier twenty-first century.

I pray for all of us, oppressor and friend, that together we succeed in building a better world through human understanding and love, and that in doing so we may reduce the pain and suffering of all sentient beings.

Thank you.

http://www.dalailamafoundation.org/dlf/en/xiv.jsp#nobel

ON BUDDHISM.

How do you take a spiritual journey? Where to begin? Who do you follow?

YOUR DIFFERENT SIDE, JAJA.

Dear Jaja,

I’ve seen a different side of you today. You were talking to me, Toti, Imee, Terry and Geremi from just across the table; and by how I measured it, it seemed like you have traveled through the entire evolution of your life in advance to be so bold and generous in sharing your myriad of experiences with us in one sitting. Today, I have become a good listener to your dispositions, antics and cuss words that seemed like your auto pilot terms of endearment to your sparring best friend Geremi – all in between grabbing the videoke’s microphone and Carlos I whisky. ( I wanted to snort and chuckle as I recalled your banters with Geremi, they were so funny. I thought if for some miracle Jason was there, it would have been an even funnier act!)

Living in a faraway country over the years have cemented your maturity in understanding life, although (thankfully) it never actually changed your cheerful, laid-back character. I said I saw a different side of you because today you cared more about the little things around you, for the first time you brought me a bottle of Smirnoff, you instantly understood the need to help strangers based on the fondness you showed toward Hubert, Frankie and Mang Bok,and you didn’t pick on Toti anymore! Most of all, you cared about how far our life-long friendship has taken. Your friendship with all of us that spun around from our first day in high school. Your relationship with Terry. Your sweetness to your Nanay. Not to mention Jonvic – oh, dear Jonvic! And how much willing you are to pay my hospital bills, jokingly, in case I reach my twilight years alone.

I used to see you as the opposite when we were teenagers but today, in one day, I gained a repository of wonderful things just by observing you.

Cha

FROM UP THERE.

09.18.09                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For the Adobo section of Arizona Filipino Forum newspaper, September ‘09 issue.)

From up there, perhaps thousands of miles above the earth, everything looked perfect to me. I saw the cloud formation outside the window and behind me, Fleur whispered if I noticed the rainbow showing off its kaleidoscope of colors like it was just at an arm’s length, literally…I glued my face to the plane’s glass window, exactly like how your lips would have formed a kiss mark if ever you had a lipstick on, to look directly at the wonder happening outside.

And I thought to myself how magnificent God’s creation was at the moment. Like a kid, I wished I were an owl which could keep its neck spinning at 360- degree angle. If only to witness if the rainbow really had an end as we sped off toward the almost dark sky .

It’s normally a common sight for travelers. Only, this time I was with Fleur and it wasn’t everyday that we got to view the cotton clouds and rainbow together from our seats in the airplane. Through the years, she never fails to remind me of our beginnings. It made me laugh, sneer, whine and laugh again, most importantly. Our travel together to Palawan was a turning experience that brought us even closer. It created a bond of intimacy that was impossible to form under just email, chat or phone correspondence from the west to the east. Fleur taught me that fulfillment and happiness will bubble to the surface and when you’re not completely frolic with your life, you have to take bold steps to break out of the mold to continue being productive and healthy in well-being.

I remember how we used to be young and restless; innocent, yet, courageous to change our paths. I am writing this piece as a personal homage to one true friend and the sister I never had the chance of having because I owe her much more gratitude than the ones I previously expressed. I am zealous, earnest and so filled with love whenever I get reminded by her belief in me. This writing stint alone is a bold manifestation of how much she dared to fuel my spirit in the middle of my trying times (Oh, tell me about it.), despite the aggravation made by them who kept on putting me down.

Thank you, Fleur. I didn’t mean to make this a bias tribute because you are so much larger than life in your generosity to keep others lifted by your strength and enthusiasm. But I would like to tell you so thankfully that from up there, when we were both viewing the rainbow at an altitude that clogged our ears we had to open our mouths to counter it, I felt the years of friendship we nurtured and extended to our children and friends. So cliche but the truth is, George was right – that as we grow older we don’t lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are.

You don’t know what it means to me after I lost many other things along the way.

http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com
http://azpinoy.com
email at : charissemalazarte@yahoo.com

BEYOND EACH LOSS.

Too long a time was spent finding where the bits and pieces came forth. Where you are now is what I have enabled myself to understand. And if by chance time may prove me right, I’d like for you someday to see that there’s far more wonderful things to be had than the ones we tried to forget.

I looked at you and thought, there’s nothing new anymore that I know of you. Not even the old I found easy to remember. Maybe because of the time that passed us by. And though I wanted to hold on to what I can still remember, it’s certainly all but fragments of the past now.

Life came about more rewarding after these challenges and I’m using this time to embark on more meaningful things – in seeing how thoughtfully friends, family and even new bonding have lifted me back to the place where I used to stand. And in helping me clarify my ideas about the life I’ve always wanted to have. Further than the purview of what I once thought was my comfort in the people and opportunities I eventually had lost and left me. I’ve forgone that and I’m on my way to some place brighter, wider and new – before the universe takes its own action that enough has been endured.

http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com
http://azpinoy.com

NARCISSISM.

narcissism nar·cis·sism (när’sĭ-sĭz’əm) or nar·cism (när’sĭz’əm)
n.

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
2. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.

( Hahaha! Jokingly.)

SO MY STORY ENCOMPASSES A FEW SIGNIFICANT THINGS.

…When your children were way, way younger, it’s very impossible to imagine a life where they will not live with you, where you will not see them everyday or know what they’re doing. You loosen your grip so they can breathe but it doesn’t mean you neglect that part when you should be the powerhouse that shelters their lives until they become free to fly on their own.

…Yesterday, someone wrote about a biblical passage that spoke of the greatest spiritual gifts from the book of Corinthians. It said that “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails.” When I read it, I glanced at the bible beside my bed ( I usually sleep on it open every night. ) and read the entire chapter. And I cried out of nothingness! That kind of thing when lightning hits you? What he wrote was only verse three of chapter 13… I thought verse seven contained the most beautiful passage in the chapter. It said,” Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” We used to take these words for granted, didn’t we? I realized how golden they were and will forever be. Even when I know quite truly how capable I am to represent it, I still will always fall short to justify it as human.

… Last night, I was seated strangely ( sitting that looked like I was standing so Milano had to ask me,” Why are you seated that way,Cha?” Hahaha.) beside Ed and Ciara while Kat stood inside the bar opposite us. He was telling me about the upcoming contract as guitarist and arranger for a famous singer for her home record label. Wasn’t that good news! Even after so long, all the things that happened in the course of fighting for his life figuratively proved to be all worth the pain. And on how to start another brand new beginning with Kat and their new family, God never took them for granted. All the blessings are coming their way! We were in the front row seats to the high’s and low’s, you see. And as good friends, we were returning last night to the days of their hardships. I reminded him of how all of these came about. God is presenting His love for them in the simplest ways because they both helped themselves. And because they have been very good human beings who never spoke ill of people. I think that mattered most. I love you, Kat and Ed! I didn’t know this day will come when your story had inspired me incessantly, it left an afterthought like the LSS to the last memorable song heard.

(I thought sharing simple things like this can create a positive impact on us. I, for one, am in a continuous walk toward discovering miracles in our daily lives. Even when reality tells us otherwise sometimes – at the end of the day, there will always be a hope for another brand new beginning! And I always believed that. )

*** This came  out published at the Arizona Filipino Forum June 3rd issue  ( www.azpinoy.com). Thanks Ed (Alfafara), Kat (Maes), Ciara and Milano (Sanchez)  for allowing me to mention your names in the article.

WALA NANG HAHANAPIN PA

I loved it more during Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo’s  wedding. So did everyone who watched it.

“AKO LANG.”

The first I took time to play the CD “Ako Lang” in the car on the way home from Loyola Heights was on Tuesday evening. And song after song, I realized ,”Wala ka nga’ng itatapon ni isa ( there’s no track wasted ).” Each song was a chapter in Jim Paredes’ life as himself, freely flowing. And I have always believed that when one knows the story behind the creation of each song, it has the power to allow him to appreciate it even deeply.

The hardcore sentimental me had tears wanting to fall down as soon as the lyrics of the 3rd track came out clearly as it played! Hahaha. It was called “Lumisan Na Siya.” I explained to a friend today that it was the kind of track that y0u would love listening to when driving on a highway on the way to Tagaytay, Baguio or Batangas “na humahagulgol! ( bursting in tears!).

The 5th captured me, nonetheless , because it was a song he wrote for his wife Lydia and children Erica, Ala and Mio. When I was browsing through the list of tracks, I asked if it was mellow – he said yes, and that’s the song only he can sing because no other man will have the same names of his wife and children. Made sense?

“Live Your Own Life,” if I can recall, was the one he played during our workshop which he wrote for his daughter as she began to face her world and “Thank You,Mama” was a personal tribute to his mother.

I liked that it was limitless in the scope of creating what materials he recorded. To quote Jim, “Naglaro ako sa album na yan.” And that playground, actually, was like a sandbox where kids played and threw sands at each other! He played, too, with the musicians who collaborated with him. I think Ugoy-ugoy was it. This was Jim Paredes’ playground in the form of these 10 songs he wrote in 1996 and 1997. Original Filipino sound that had that calming effect of a lullaby according to my sentimental standard.:)

Thanks,Jim. If  for anything, we take the inspiration from the fact that you’re walking us through this road. How much longer would it take on this journey doesn’t really matter at all, as long as we all share the connection under one premise. This album is your gift.

Lydia,Ayca,Mio,Ala

10 SONGS.

I can say that this is their own metaphor of deep-rooted brotherly support shown in this snap. :

A photo in the Paredes’ dining room with Jim Paredes.

WHEN I SAW YOU DRIFTING.

March 9, 2009

Do you remember two weeks ago when we would just talk about it and laugh hard imagining who would be the best to play Homer if The Simpsons will be made into a full-length movie with human casts? You said Danny Devito or Joe Pesci? And we’d end up saying,” Nah…They don’t resemble! In fact, no one can resemble Homer’s character unless they cast from auditions.

And I said,” What about Marge?!! And the husky voice with her tall hair?!?” Forget it.

We’d talk about anything under the sun. Hours that stretched on until we realized we had other things to do to go about our own daily lives. And we’d hold each other’s hand. I missed that today. It’s our Sunday. For the entire year, it had always been our Sunday.

I smiled alone and asked myself why it had to be The Simpsons’ DVD playing at home to remind me of all these things. Ironic, too ,that for the first time – I cried hard upon coming across that feeling. And it was the boohoo cry. Grin. Days now seemed longer than they ever had been.

THE SURPRISE OF LIFE.

March 6, 2009  (For ADOBO FORUM – Arizona Fil. Forum newspaper in March)

In this world where all electronic gadgets function with microchips and toys can be most complicated than they had ever been 25 years ago, I was – for some strange reasons, lately- hit by a myriad of retrospection coming from friends and anecdotes that branched out from certain conversations! And somehow, they evoked memories with their power – like to wash them back from the sea to the shore to form the sand.

A few days ago, I wrote something about an airplane. Not about how it was made or if it had the engine that can par at launching a space rocket – it was about childhood wonder, a snap in a conversation that was focused on how nice the linguine looked with all the shrimp toppings! Grinning, I suddenly had the inspiration to put the scenario in black and white and thought about my generation when we were children contented in measuring happiness by counting the dragonflies we caught and innocently kept in our bottles.

It may sound too shallow but I regaled catching the attention of people close to me, when I published the journal online, who said they felt the same and were once again thrilled by the thought of it! In essence, all I want to put to light many times over is that simple joy can come from unexpected circumstances. We don’t have to pay for it to have it. Come on,the world is overflowing with its virtual presence – only, there’s too much loneliness and grief brought by poverty, unfair social discrimination, war and crimes. What we have to know is that we can always find that state of bliss in the simplest situations, whether or not we get reminded by the memories of airplanes and dragonflies.

Please read on the piece I wrote two days ago and remember how it used to be. I am, after all, the sucker for anything nostalgic from childhood and I use that to empower me in my reflections on life as an inevitable,vicious cycle.

* The previous article was called HOW IT USED TO BE.*
(Written on Tue 1:46pm ;March 3rd.)

HOW IT USED TO BE.

March 3, 2009

When Aris posted a link to Paulo Coelho’s new book and had the excerpt, the part about what happens inside an airplane caught me. There was an epiphany of something that went on.

Last night, I was having a quiet dinner with a friend outside a nice restaurant near Channel 7. I was expressionless when she pointed at the sky and told me there was an airplane passing us by; perhaps miles distant from Tomas Morato,vertically . I stared up from where we sat and she said”, Do you remember when we were children? I’ve been in an airplane many times but nothing can replace the wondrous feeling of looking at it fly, with its lights beaming, from the ground. Do you remember that, Cha?”

And I said,” Yeah…I remember how it felt…Yeah…” And it transported me back to my childhood. Memories that come back that way are ever so beautiful, spontaneous. I’m sure Peaches and Erica will look at it with the same innocent guilessness because we grew up in the same neighborhood where airplanes seemed so near from the ground where they took off and landed.:)

Aris – for unconsciously reminding. Imagine how simple joy can bloom from simpler, unexpected events in our lives.

EVERY CHAPTER.

March 2, 2009

I can’t remember a time when you looked for me anywhere; yet, you always had found me. In so many twists of fate, how is it to wait and live each day that way ? I realized the magnitude of this love that proved unconditional – and quite deeply, I always believed we knew each other too well.

Once, if I’m gone, let the thought fly with the wind. Let it be just a beautiful memory, forever a manifestation of a love that waited and given so kindly. I’ve known your life as it presented itself to me all this time. It wasn’t easy embracing it but I will not stop trying. No soul had seen me or would believe me but I grew with the splendor brought by the simplest of time spent; like the bottle gone older that had the better tasting wine. We have become that , I’d like to think.

I’m facing all sides; yet, going nowhere. Your world keeps on moving, I chose to be at a standstill. And even so, life will go on as we leaf through every chapter of this life mostly spent apart.

TIME PASSING.

February 14, 2009

While having dinner outside, I asked my daughter why everyone’s kept busy buying chocolates and flowers for Valentine’s Day. We were queueing in the mall payment counter and almost everyone had chocolates in cute boxes to buy. And she quipped,”Of course, because it’s Valentine’s Day!”

I was asked to write something relevant to the occasion. I was torn between writing a love story that eventually led to a blissful marriage and a plot that says it all – holding true the fact that whether or not you have someone who’s romantically a part of your life – there’s no reason to whine about not having one. Today, the feeling resonated with me and I had to admit to myself that ironically, it affected me! Hahaha.

All I want to share is not the the essence of having to be loved but to have the capacity to love and be unselfish in doing so without losing our self-worth. From the lessons I learned in the course of living, there were times I stumbled upon some blocks but I remained strong to stand up always. Transforming this into an inspiration to make sense of my own life, that of my children and of the other people whom I love and who love me is incomparable. Whether or not it’s Valentine’s Day! It always brings me close to so many wonderful things! Like wanting to write, to make beautiful things with my daughters and do much,much better in my job. It makes me want, too, to sing out loud more often, laugh hysterically more often, to be able to drive my car fast down highways and a lot more…To make this world better than it ever had been.

I remember how it has been for me over the many, many years that passed. Valentines day was supposed to be something everyone should be excited about. Then again, I figured, nothing had ever been different for me. It still is just time passing.

*From my Adobo Forum, February 14th issue of AFF.*

TO REMEMBER MY FATHER.

February 23, 2009

I was nine when my father passed away. I remember doing my homework on an early evening in the living room wondering why all the people in the house were weeping from a telephone call that came from Vienna. They said he’s gone. You know the feeling anyone gets upon the loss of someone who just left or said goodbye? What more if someone died? It resembled the shrinking of the heart during separation anxiety, only worst and horrifying because there was no more possibility of coming back. For a child who didn’t know the truest meaning of pain, it suddenly brought me to the prolonged grief of losing a father at such age of innocence.

How much of this strengthened me as a person to not have the male figure in the family to provide when I was growing up. I had thought life would have been the same. We didn’t have what we wanted but I’m thankful that I have my mother who has seen us through all these years – and my brothers up to this very day. The journey is still ongoing; however, the future doesn’t seem bleak. I still tell my daughters about my childhood when my Daddy was alive. It had traces of achievement, hope, children’s books, vocabulary to review. He dreamt for me and our family a lifetime that’s better than anyone else’. In so many ways, time proved him different even when he’s gone. Soon, life will be better in all aspects, I believe. There’s always a way to achieve what we want. At least, what he dreamt for me to be able to improve the quality of our life even more. I feel that time is running out as I age, but that will not deter me from still trying on my own to get to that destination.

This is life, Dadddy – I learned from it , and still I do,the hard way.

DOLPHY: ANOTHER UNFOLDING OF HIS LIFE AT 80!

January 23, 2009

I’m gearing up for my second take at writing for Adobo Forum and had a whirlwind of ideas in my head on whether to feature a recent wedding in Intramuros I attended last week or write about the ongoing projects the Quizon family (of Philippine movies) had the ball rolling from middle of last year. I thought that writing about the latter now would make an even more extensive exposure for Comedy King Dolphy’s autobiography, life story in DVD, and foundation in the Arizona community of Filipinos. After the Dolphy @ 80 US and Canada tour (an ongoing celebration of his 80 years of existence and 64th as a an icon in Philippine showbiz) that took place in October and November, 2008 – the first two projects I mentioned are currently in full swing in distribution here in the Philippines and abroad.

Back in January 2008, I recalled coming to Rockwell one Saturday evening to see Dolphy’s son (singer/composer)Ronnie Quizon coming from a private party held in the area for his father. That was the exact time I learned that they were halfway onto the research and production of their father’s life story as well as the publication of his book entitled “ DOLPHY : HINDI KO ITO NARATING MAG-ISA. I was told that it had Dolphy narrating his story to Bibeth, after which she transcribed it in book form. Traces of his voice and thoughts resonating from every corner of each page – Bibeth became the significant instrument in putting that voice into words to be read. Suffice it to say, too, that during the making of the film – there were really long days and nights from January to July spent sleepless working on it, with Ronnie and his editors rummaging film archives for clips to supplement the documentary. I wondered to myself that it must definitely be something big to look forward to!

“The whole concept and idea of the book and the foundation (to help our under privileged “kababayans” as well as the children of OFW’s who may need financial support) came from my brother (actor/ director) Eric (Quizon); while the DVD project was actually an off-shoot concept that came about during the course of the pre-production discussions amongst Eric, Epy, myself and the other people involved,” Ronnie was proudly remembering, after I asked him over dinner to talk about the initial conceptualization of the projects. He was tasked to be in charge of the making of the documentary DVDs (1st part was their father’s public life and the 2nd part was the private life), doing most of the pre-production and post-production work with a handful of people. “That’s outside the main bulk of the work which was writing, directing, and putting it all together,” he added with his usual unstoppable ideas purging! In July of 2008, on Dolphy’s 80th birthday, the three projects were successfully launched to his name by his children and was welcomed by Filipinos as if he was a part of their lives. I think that he has always been, without any effort.

I was able to watch the DVD when it was released, and thrice at that! The actual documentary became an extensive representation of ” the Dolphy we never got to know” – as told by himself, siblings, children, friends, colleagues and the women he was involved with . The book ” DOLPHY: HINDI KO ITO NARATING MAG-ISA,” on the other hand, received favorable reviews by the media and had recently won the “Award For Excellence In The Black & White Print Category” given by the Printing Industries Association of the Philippines. “

Fleur (our editor-in chief), Ronnie, and Eric have been corresponding lately to promote the book, DVD and the “Dolphy Aid Para Sa Pinoy Foundation” in Arizona. Hopefully, this endeavor would materialize very soon – as an addition to the growing patronage in the East and West Coast for the DOLPHY @ 80 celebration for Filipinos not only in the US and the Philippines but also around the world.

I think that just by the mention of Dolphy’s name, one can’t help but be enthused and attached to the magnitude of entertainment and laughter he brought us in his 64 years as the King of Comedy and as one of Philippines’ greatest actors. What more to bring his “life-long legacy both as Rodolfo Quizon and Dolphy ” to a book and documentary film? We all grew up seeing him on television and in the movies, glimpsed upon his private life over the years but never had the microscopic view of how he is as “The Man.” I have not read the contents of the book (Which, I commit, I will!) but seeing the DVD had endeared him to me and all the other people who had seen it even more. What he learned and shared to all by living “metaphorically more” than eighty years of his life: the virtue of simplicity above fame was unfolded in those two medium.

* This came out in the January 23rd issue of my Adobo column in the Arizona Filipino Forum newspaper. Thanks, Ronnie and Eric.*

MY RENEWED ENDEAVOR.

Outside the family where it’s always a priority, one of the things that has always taken me to accomplish on my free will for 2009 is to do some serious writing. I can’t thank enough the people who have been so encouraging and giving me all thumbs up time and again : Fleur, Jim P., Bob Suzara, Georgei, Raine, Kat, Edward, Jetti (for committing his art work) and Southern Grass. They never fail to tell me and believe that I have this way of touching the hearts of many through my own writing style.That’s another succor humbling my heart, especially in times of trials.

Fleur finally had me saying yes to write for the Arizona Filipino Forum Newspaper beginning January. She’s the publisher of this circulation based in Phoenix and two days ago, we worked closely online till midnight PST and fortunately, gave me my own little corner on the Adobo forum page.

I think, more than anything, the exposure itself entails a large part of my commitment to be more responsible in this aspect. The objective is to give our kababayans in AZ a picture of my take on anything under the sun ( Not that I am a master of anything – haha), on human nature or on things that are going on in the Philippines, amongst others. Before it was proofread, I was careful enough to keep it fool-proof, never failing in the grammar and punctuations. I thought it was cool. And they sent me at midnight the layout which appeared as this in the photo attachment.
Added to it, we both wanted that it be a prequel to our project on having to publish the selected writings I have on my blog : http://charisseinhersoultrain.wordpress.com to create something like a coffee table book in paperback, perhaps, this year ( it was planned on January of 2008 and I got caught up with my job that 12 months had passed with me only finishing 1/4 of the manuscript)! Unless, she can afford hardbound in the standard paperback size – hehe.

Ronnie ( Quizon) is also high and up with the inspiration to have one of his own under the same publisher – the plot I can not divulge since it might have a conflict on a project he still has with his family.I’ve always encouraged him to partake on this journey because I believe that he can process his thoughts very well. And I thought, this is one blessing for the two of us in support of our own individual interest.:) Just the other day, we spent our time talking about it like the way it was when we were all children enthused by the thought of Christmas Day coming. Looking forward to it somehow.:)

Thank you, Ate. You have not waivered in being beneath my wings. This is just the start. Seriously; and it means let’s eradicate procrastination from our vocabulary. Hahaha.

P.S.
Fleur was asserting that long before Adobo Nation was conceptualised, she already had Adobo Forum existing? LoL. (Maybe we can have somethin’ new like Galunggong Forum, atbp. Hehe.)

Jan. 14, 2009

THE RAINBOW’S END.

Another time in the making and I’m thankful that after all, there is a brand new year to continue walking on that same path. I see it clearly, somehow. Like the rainbow’s end when you’re halfway towards it and you see the pot of gold after such a storm.

There will be our birthdays, our Christmases to be had together this time, as we wanted. Hopefully. I wish I could tell the world the simplest joy I feel knowing you’re coming home.

SPARKS AND PORTIER.

Two new books I’ll cherish. I started leafing thru the pages of The Measure of A Man. I think that Sidney Portier was brilliant on this. As it was written -” it’s like having a conversation with an older brother ; he always doesn’t tell you what you want to hear , but you appreciate it just the same.”
And it’s the last copy!

Three Weeks With My Brother is a book by Nicholas Sparks, a memoir. How he spent a journey with his brother when he was 37 and his brother 38. They recalled their childhood adventures and all the tests of their faith while growing up and until they reached this age. It reminded me of two brothers I know and all the childhood stories the older one always recounted spending together with his brother when they were little. The best part of the cover that captured me was the bicycle and how being born one year apart also had moved me to mention their story resembling that in the book ( I think I would have needed his permission to write about this part or I’ll be sued for invasion of privacy. Grin. ).

I wish I wont have to procrastinate reading. I fell in love with these books just as I saw them in the racks of Powerbooks and the words that brushed my emotions while browsing them.
They will remain on my nightstand until I reach their epilogues.

HEAL.

There was a time when I used to think we had always seen each other through. And that every plan you and I shared for our own individual interests was such a joy to cherish . Even when our story had you always leaving, I was there, always where you left off to wait and save it.

When life was still simpler, funny how life can change in so short a time albeit believing that it won’t. At a time when we should have held on a little more to remain stronger, being the anchor to the ship…

I’m still happy to see that you are where you are right now. Tomorrow, there won’t be me, but I know it doesn’t matter. Some healing takes time, no matter how we try to forego the pain.
I’ll be able to reach that state someday.

BORROWING YOUR STORY.

I borrowed this comment I wrote on your HUMMING posting last Sunday – which gives me pride to hold true your word that you even had a wider smile after reading it! Haha… I thought I should share it, too, to my minutest reading crowd to encourage them to write  in spite of periodic road blocks.
Thanks in advance and see you very soon.
~Cha

___________________

ON “WHY I WRITE by Jim Paredes.”

Jim,
I will attribute this to the gift of being able to wake up your memory at any given interval. When you’re driving, or just in your waking moment or just when you walk down the street and pass by some place and it has that same kind of power to evoke you to write about it?

The thought of having a deadline makes it sometimes unbearable at first. However, I learned from you not too long ago that accepting what’s inevitable allows us to live with it in peace and transforms what used to be a drudgery to deal with it into acceptance, like your analogy of going to the toilet because it’s a call of nature.

In essence, what I want to say is that your connection to your reading public has been immensely palpable, as I read through the comments posted week on week. Whether or not you get that block, you are still being read. I said you are being read because what you write encapsulates your character, your inspirations and even woes when you talk about socially-relevant issues – as it comes from your passion. Your small reading public has expanded tremendously, have you noticed?

For the last 3 years, I’ve followed your haringliwanag – what more if we do a public survey today and be awed by the magnitude of the scope of your reading public?:)

CARL JUNG.

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.

ON YOUR DAY.

29 November, 2008 Saturday

We thought this can be one of  our many birthdays that we will celebrate. Only now, you’re distant, far.

To wait is to bring tomorrow close to where you are today.  On your 43rd birthday,  you are thought of so fondly and where your heart is, I wish it will always be with the people you love genuinely.

Written on 29 November, 2008. Saturday

WISHFUL THINKING.

More than how I’ve wished it for myself, to see your happiness was what I had written in that small book. I’ve missed you from the day you left me standing outside my house – driving away, leaving Manila until you come home and maybe find me.

COMING TRUE.
(2008,November 18th)

A big part of me says I take the refuge from just thinking that I had been there to witness your endeavors being planned but a little unfortunate to be far from you when all else are now coming true. Whatever it is, I’m always proud of you and of what your pursuits have continued becoming. No one could ever truly have said it better than me.

You’re so blessed to have people who love you more than you can and believe in your capabilities more than you thought they will. I miss the times when we’d sit and stay beside each other and hear you weave your aspirations. And I’d cheer for you.

BRAVER TO SAY.

(2008, November 14th)

The circumstances had hit me and it made me dopey in the most unusual way. I never used to cry quite so much, but most of the time was spent lurking in this space we thought we could have saved as ours – longer, stronger. Made me always wanting to embrace and think of it with my heart and mind for all its love and power.

Despite all that kept us apart now, I’m with you. Your winter jacket buttoned up, zipped-straight to your throat so you won’t catch a cold. I didn’t have to effuse too much because needless to say, you always know I love you.

MY NEW DESTINATION.
(2008, November 12th)

I captured the inspiration to write about this today. Finding inspiration in the midst of healing is strange but encouraging at the same time.

I started collecting the manuscripts of my writings again. After almost a year of delaying plus my default procrastination, it came to me that I need now to send them to Ate in 2 months! I need it more to be able to fulfill a long standing dream and maybe somehow, even when you won’t be around anymore, you’ll be proud of me, too. Because that was how we used to talk about it before. Looking forward to the publication of your future book, too. Im sure Ate will be there for that.

You know in your heart that I wrote this for you. There was a time when I used to think we had always worked it through and that every plan you and I shared for our own individual interests was such a joy to cherish . I wish that God will shed some light, understanding and forgiveness. Always remember how much we had been thru together.I’m still beckoned by the thought of tomorrow because what we had for long was shaped by that.

TO WALK AWAY.(2008, November 10th)

I’m drifting because it was my constant and to walk away from it is a struggle i’ll always have to hurdle.After a long time of stretching my arms to try my best in embracing your world, I knew there had to be a break.And if for anything else, I’d like to remember how I asked you not to change and be the same person I saw before you physically left.

Where you are right now, i know it was brought by the demands of your world but it shouldn’t have had altered the foundation we long built.

This morning I sat quietly, remembering every word written and said. We kept on slipping further and further away from one another, distance and time lengthened.

I know that NOT too many nights will be wasted on mourning. To express sadness in writing proved more painful than it is said in person. And i also know that each night of sadness is true and needed and enabling me, in some small ways after so many hurtful things were said, to rebuild…If nothing else is left, I hope my love and respect will still shine in every word because you know I stood by you no matter how, what and when.

WHERE YOU WILL SIT AND CONTEMPLATE YOUR DAY.

(2008,October 22nd)

I’ll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning.
In an open tub whenyour judgement’s on the brink.
I’ll be the phonograph that plays your favorite album,
back as you’re lying there drifting off to sleep.
I’ll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat.
With the collar up so you won’t catch a cold….

(excerpt from Brand New Colony – Thanks to my friend,Brew ,for writing this on my blogspot years ago.)

***
I think i’ve always been your buttoned coat, zipped straight to the throat and collar up so you won’t catch a cold! Haven’t i been always?:) haha… That’s the simplest way to put my role to your life quite literally and into a funny metaphor, haha.

More than how I’ve wished for myself, to see your happiness was what i’ve written in that small book. I’ve missed you from the day you left me standing outside my house – driving away, leaving Manila until you come home in Jan.***

OUR UNCERTAIN HAPPY JOURNEY.

24th October, 2008

For Ronnie.

Our story has always been about leaving and always coming back…And how in this length of time, we stood by together- like the anchor to the ship.I used to think that I lived a significantly imperfect life but I was such a coward to admit it.I found out I was wrong.

I learned from you that it’s better to live one’s life with truth and imperfection than not being able to be content in trying to be perfect endlessly. I loved you for that. More birthdays and Christmases and New Year’s. Yeah. Come home soon.

FOR TOMORROW.

(2008, November 5th)

Sometimes I stumble upon the fear of coming to another day of waiting.And how many times I must have cried because you’re not here right now…Too many.
As hard as it gets, we always try to look through all possibilities for more days and stories to be had together. And birthdays,and Christmases, summers…

For all our differences which we manage to understand and accept along the way – what used to be the road ahead, as i see now, will no longer be a road ahead because we’re on it now… I hope that time will prove me right. Only time is all i need to keep me waiting so I could see you again in this sandbox built by believing that there’s tomorrow.

SOME MORE WAITING.
(2008, November 3rd)

To wake up quietly always wanting to open my eyes to this brand new day. And moving along so much stronger. I never realised I will be in this situation when the last minutes count.
To move forward after you recall what’s been done and forgive yourself and the others that hurt you… Hope for some more mornings when everything just seems alright.

I’m writing for people who dream for the night to end and wait for the light of day to cast its ray to a brand new beginning.

TWITTERING.

1. Wanting to feel dead sleepy at 3pm.
2. Oh,Southern Grass at Bela Bar at 10pm!!!
3. Maybe Wam might remember our shoot.:)

http://twitter.com/_charisse
7 Sept 2008

TWITTERING.…

1. Fighting loneliness up to the last minute I can be awake.
2. Spent 2 hours on an overseas telebabad from SF.
3. Twitter & sleep…

8 minutes ago from web
http://twitter.com/_charisse

WHAT USED TO BE OUR SANDBOX.

(sandbox: n. A low box filled with sand for children to throw and play in. )

This is how it is to write about you. Besides, we knew that aside from the MANY other things mundane (like what appetizer to eat or you finishing up the coffee I always forget to drink) and the metaphysical (our never ending stories) we both love doing – it’s one of the best things we are so most passionate about! Therefore, I envision our own version of the Lonely Planet or Animal Planet (remember the poor baby Taz devil?) or Nat Gen and how we would have chronicled the lives of animals, people, places and history brilliantly. Grin.

Though I’m prouder if people will see (soon!) the work you did on your dad’s film bio on DVD as a counterpart of the book your family launched last week. The time you had to spend sleepless in the studio from January to July doing everything to meet your target date, which you did – and not havin anythin except coffee, water and power drink just to get by awake to finish everythin! Oh, ask me about those long months.

I’d like for the readers to know how incomparable you are and if you were a dfferent person I’d still say the same. Which means I am unbiased to say that you are eloquent, articulate, funny, creative and colorful! Perhaps, to put it in a simpler perspective – the Ronnie I had always expected for everyone to see.

I always have been the quiet crowd that cheered for you on your current endeavor -you know there will always be somethin’ for you and your passion, huh. I saw the future coming, giving you back what used to be the dream which is now in the form of reality. I’m praying that it flows like a river. Really. I always never told you but as hard as i try not to say it – thank you for staying by my side all this time in your own, different ways.

Prayful that God will give you more so you won’t have to leave for long. The altered reality we never planned somehow had taken us close together. And this will go on and on and on.

________________________
written in July, 2008.

WAM’S WORLD IN A SHUTTER SPEED.

http://www.electricthirdeye.blogspot.com/ (wam molina)

Relish by viewing. As he captured fleeting beauty through his rangefinder before it can disappear forever.

GRIEF.

I felt a loss and it hit me. When you get used to the presence of someone very dear to your heart, who understood you, knew you and accepted your imperfections the same way you did  – you never saw the loss coming.

I am grieving. And yet, happy for what i gained…

HOW WAM & ROXEANNE HAVE GROWN.

All of these I’m doing for both of you to make sure you grow up stronger, wiser, loving and respecting the people around you.
You both have your own purpose to live. I know that wherever destiny will take you, you will take care of each other until you grow older.

WAM’S WORLD IN A SHUTTER SPEED.

http://www.electricthirdeye.blogspot.com/

How he captures life and people from both perspectives through his camera in the palms of his hands. And makes you see beauty before it can disappear forever.

INAH TOOK SHOTS OF ME.
Saturday, August 9th.

WAKING MOMENT.

I feel a million times stronger and more sure of myself. Of what i want to be. And where will I be. Now, my waking moments spin around Wam and Roxeanne, my life at work, far away . In this journey, i had lost priceless people. What’s important in the present is what I have – which I swear, I never asked God to give me but how thankful I am for having.

PRECIOUS WORDS FROM JOEY.

Hi Cha,

Thanks so much for the kindest words you chose in the comment you left on my profile page.

Such acts of generosity are most precious … and rare nowadays.

Joey

(I told Direk Joey yesterday how much he is like the same soul, always funny and larger than life. Never boring. Salamat, Joey. I’ll bump into you very soon! )

REVEALING THE BEAUTY OF ONE’S THOUGHTS.

( Out of curiosity, I read the letter a stranger wrote somewhere in my old blog today. And I thought it was so beautiful and endearing.  If for anything, I’m just sharing with the readers an excerpt from what he wrote to me to thank him for his views on finding inspiration. Am I bad that I never said my thanks directly, I failed to even register his last name, or where he’s from.  I sincerely wish he comes across this page again someday.  )

Charisse, I just think you are a very talented writer where your thoughts come out clearly and originally on the page. I enjoyed reading the pieces and I’ll get into your blog and see what creativity you have there to woo me. I appreciate good writing because I’m a poet, writer and artist. September, I have plans to take guitar lessons, so life is amazingly what you make of it…How much you put in equates to what you get out. All too true, we never get anything out of things that don’t inspire us or move us in some ways. But we have to explore, put in the time to find out. Relationships are quite similar in that way, come to think about it.

Incidentally, I thought the photos you shared are quite wonderful, your daughters are angels and my thoughts reading the Taj Mahal pictures was magnificent. It is, perhaps, the word that describes your thoughts; quite honestly it’s true and I’m totally honest about thinking that because I only want to deal with the truth, period.  And revealing what those thoughts are is simply affirming what is already true.

Nice to meet you through this medium, I hope we can have some deep and meaningful conversations in the near future, I would love that immensely.

M.

OUR SYMBIOTIC BOND.

“Certain mistakes in the past had given us a life trauma. We both, somehow, consciously or subconsciously would like to correct them – sa application lang tayo nagkaiba (only our application on how to correct them differed from each other). While you try to maintain your status quo to maintain your idealism, I had given up on going through a road block and decided to take another road to follow. Both our roads are right, but only if we manage to reach our own destinations.”

(Oh well, I’m sure you smile as you read this being published upon my constant pledge that I won’t plagiarize you. Grin. As a reaction to your “action vs. reaction mantra,” I had told you that i will give you credit where its due, especially for something you wrote/said/shared that gave true meaning to human nature, especially mine.

Thank you, Ronnie. Can I just say that you freed my mind from this prison cell. You made me stronger somehow. Although i know that you still see me not following the advice, I am trying my best to be braver without the fear of losing the values that shaped me. For more of our writings. I’m happy you’re now here.)

* Photo taken by Calvin Flores, Conspiracy – January 14, 2008.*